Airport security people - rant!

[threebikesmcginty]

And then there was the time he was invited up to London by the local MP to visit the Houses of Parliament on Budget Day. He had stayed in town overnight in town so had an overnight bag with the usual contents, dirty clothes, half drunk bottle of vodka, cigarettes and lighter. He was sat in either the public gallery or the press gallery which at that time had no screen up, this was prior to Fathers for Justice and the purple powder in the condom thrown at Blair. Again he had the sudden dawning of realisation and worked out he had the contents of a molotov cocktail in his bag.

A wasted opportunity!!

 

[Globalti]

Last time we flew out of Manchester our 10 y.o. son had a small Sigg bottle with some water inside. The security muppet made us stand and drink the lot before he would allow us through. It's definitely a scam to force passengers to buy stuff airside. We refilled it from a tap.

At Detroit my brother had an almost empty, rolled up toohpaste tube confiscated because the size marked on it was 150ml or whatever!

 

[bonj2]

Last time we flew out of Manchester our 10 y.o. son had a small Sigg bottle with some water inside. The security muppet made us stand and drink the lot before he would allow us through. It's definitely a scam to force passengers to buy stuff airside. We refilled it from a tap.

At Detroit my brother had an almost empty, rolled up toohpaste tube confiscated because the size marked on it was 150ml or whatever!

one of my dad's mates had a bottle of whiskey and they made him neck it

 

[PaulB]

Another story comes to mind about a laughable time at Manchester airport. It was in the wake of the "shoe bomber" revelations and the "security" line was much, much longer than usual and people were genuinely getting worried, if not actually panicking at the very real possibilty of missing flights. This was because everyone was made to take off their shoes and belts and inevitably, only two of the four scanners were working. But wait; did I say "everybody"? Not quite. The members and entourage of the boyband I will not name didn't have to queue up like everybody else. Neither were they asked to take off their shoes or belts. In fact, they weren't even required to go through the scanners at all! They were simply waved through by the staff as quite clearly they could in no way be suspected of carrying anything dangerous on the plane...unlike us dirty losers who were all guilty until we'd proven otherwise by being scanned, probed, prodded and patted.

 

[Globalti]

Hmmmm..... I might try travelling by air with my new sitar band called Abdul Aziz and the Semtex boys.

 

[dodgy]

I used to enjoy travelling to the states, but the overwhelming sense of being 'processed' at US security has now put me and my wife off for life. It's bad enough at teh best of times, but at the end of 15 hours travelling, it's just not funny. And those forms they make you fill out "are you or have you ever been a terrorist" - give me strength.

 

[Globalti]

Gawd yes, I once flew to the US and when Delta's security people at Manchester checkin saw the Syrian, Pakistani and Jordanian visas in my passport they freaked out. I was sent away with a woman who started going through a loop of questions about my contacts in Syria, when did I last visit etc, which took about 5 minutes. Then she started on Pakistan! I patiently gave exactly the same replies as for Syria and when she started on Jordan even she had lost the will so we just agreed "the same" and off I went.

 

[wafflycat]

I used to enjoy travelling to the states, but the overwhelming sense of being 'processed' at US security has now put me and my wife off for life. It's bad enough at teh best of times, but at the end of 15 hours travelling, it's just not funny. And those forms they make you fill out "are you or have you ever been a terrorist" - give me strength.

When buying a computer online, a several of years ago, the same question was asked. Some of my American friends couldn't understand my laughter at the question; as if a real terrorist is going to answer "Yes, I plan to use my new computer from an American company to hack into the American defence network and set off all your nukes in their silos!" They really couldn't understand it and suggested that "at least the company checked"

 

[trustysteed]

I read somewhere that the US Customs & Immigration service had brought in the same people responsible for the training the Disney Land staff on customer service to train their own people as their reputation at Immigration is so bad.

Can't see it had improved much when I went in April!

 

[Arch]

doncaster, which is much better.

Blimey, I don't think that's an oft used phrase...

 

[Lizban]

Am I alone in finding all the little hitlers with no real power exerting what they have in this manner funny? I listen to their rants and ravings and smile as I head towards the lounge for a G+T and know that they will be stuck there in their polyester suits for another 12 hours and I'm off on hols?

Does this make me a bad person?

 

[Globalti]

Funny? I'm not sure. I find them pathetic in their self-righteous, bossy, jobsworth manner. Pathetic because they have been trained to respond in a standardised way that does not allow for individual thought or initiative. The crowd at Manchester never strike me as very brainy but then you don't really need brains if you're indoctrinated to such a level.

I feel equally irritated at the commercial greed of the airport owners who allow the retailers to rip off travellers. I can just imagine the bright marketing executive about 20 years ago who had the bright idea of turning airports into a shopping experience. Now they even channel you through a Duty Free area AFTER you've disembarked from your flight. The worst airport ever is Geneva, as any skier who has ever flown home from there will testify. Until the recent revamp there was hardly anywhere to sit and a massive proportion of the departure side was taken up with boutiques.

 

[zimzum42]

I've forgotten to turn off my phone a few times, nothing happened...

I've got on planes with lighters, matches, penknives, allsorts. It's all a bit of a joke really...

If you're really determined to hijack a plane you don't even need weapons etc, just a bunch of big blokes booked into first or business could easily take over a plane...

 

[PaulB]

If you're really determined to hijack a plane you don't even need weapons etc, just a bunch of big blokes booked into first or business could easily take over a plane...

Absolutely. In fact, I could do it single handed as I am a marshall arts expert and could easily take over an aeroplane. Being an RAF trained pilot, I could also fly one as well and as I am also a paratrooper, I could bail out if things went wrong. As it is though, I'm more a lover than a fighter and so content myself with pleasing all the stewardesses and recruiting them into the mile-high club. Which I think is rather gallant of me. Not that I like to boast or owt.

Or do I mean "martial"? Always get that one wrong.

 

[Arch]

Absolutely. In fact, I could do it single handed as I am a marshall arts expert and could easily take over an aeroplane. Being an RAF trained pilot, I could also fly one as well and as I am also a paratrooper, I could bail out if things went wrong. As it is though, I'm more a lover than a fighter and so content myself with pleasing all the stewardesses and recruiting them into the mile-high club. Which I think is rather gallant of me. Not that I like to boast or owt.

Or do I mean "martial"? Always get that one wrong.

Martial. I thought maybe you were thinking of the air marshalls they were going o have....