Any good jokes ... ?

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Dave7

Legendary Member
Location
Cheshire
Brilliant! 😄
Didn't get it.
Then read your "brilliant" so thought it out.
I concur ^_^
 

DRM

Guru
Location
West Yorks
Just back from a visit to Leeds city centre.First in weeks.A tour guide stopped me,he had a group of Japanese with him.Could I tell them was there a b and q in Leeds .I spoke slowly and replied no it is spelt L E,I'll get my coat.
This a true tale, whilst walking up East Parade in Leeds, I was stopped by an Italian family who wanted directions to the Castle, baffled for a second the dad showed me a picture on his iPad, he was somewhat crestfallen to discover Leeds Castle is around 300 miles to the south east in Kent.
 
563615
 
This a true tale, whilst walking up East Parade in Leeds, I was stopped by an Italian family who wanted directions to the Castle, baffled for a second the dad showed me a picture on his iPad, he was somewhat crestfallen to discover Leeds Castle is around 300 miles to the south east in Kent.

1. I been asked when close by, & told them with a straight face, that the 'Bear-Pit' on Cardigan Road, is the remains of the Castle

2. Equally, when it was the World Cyclo-Cross Championships, in Roundhay Park (where Roger Hammond got his 'Rainbow'), various nationalities asked if the folly there was Leeds Castle
It was a glorious event, I was there, & have a close-up pic of Hammond showing me his jersey, under his coat - worn so he could walk about, without constantly being stopped
(I got that, as I was with the family, who he stayed with, whilst preparing for the event)

3. Heck!!
Even Ogri (well..... Malcolm) got confused in a copy of the cartoon strip, by going to the wrong Leeds

4. There are, the very minimal remains, at Rothwell, what is referred to as John of Gaunts Castle
Really a hunting lodge' https://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/4298509
By that. I refer to the Rothwell, south-east of Leeds - not the Northamptonshire town
This one was bigger/more important than Leeds, up to the 1500s
 
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This a true tale, whilst walking up East Parade in Leeds, I was stopped by an Italian family who wanted directions to the Castle, baffled for a second the dad showed me a picture on his iPad, he was somewhat crestfallen to discover Leeds Castle is around 300 miles to the south east in Kent.
Why do Dukes never live in their allotted county. If I owned a county I would like to keep a close eye on it.
Our Duke of Norfolk has a "seat" ie home castle in Sussex
Duke of Devon is in Derbyshire
Duke of Somerset is in Wiltshire
Duke of Westminster is in Cheshire
 
Why do Dukes never live in their allotted county. If I owned a county I would like to keep a close eye on it.
Our Duke of Norfolk has a "seat" ie home castle in Sussex
Duke of Devon is in Derbyshire
Duke of Somerset is in Wiltshire
Duke of Westminster is in Cheshire

Duke of Devonshire, also has the Bolton Abbey estate, in North Yorkshire


On the other side of the Atlantic, The Dukes do live in Hazzard:whistle:
 

PeteXXX

Cake or ice cream? The choice is endless ...
Location
Hamtun
Went to Specsavers this afternoon for an eye test.
The optician told me to put my chin on the machine, look through the lens and tell him what I saw.
"Boarded up shops, closed pubs, empty airports, train stations and shopping centres"
"Excellent, you've got 2020 vision"
I went in and asked if I could get my eyes tested.. You ain't kidding, mate, this is the butchers. Specsavers is next door!
 

Profpointy

Legendary Member
I went in and asked if I could get my eyes tested.. You ain't kidding, mate, this is the butchers. Specsavers is next door!

You may jest but my ex-mrs, some time before we met, had lost her glasses on holiday and went into the opticians to try and get a replacement pair only to be informed "Umm, this isn't the opticians. We're a cosmetic surgery clinic" The vaguely medical seeming waiting room layout seemed about right in her half-blind specless state . Anyhow they pointed her in the general direction of the opticians and the day was saved.

And semi related my grandmother recounted an odd experience at the post office where she'd gone in to buy stamps. She queued up at one of the counters and when she ordered, the chap looked at her very oddly, then took his wallet out of his pocket, opened it to get some stamps out and put the money back in his own pocket. It was only when she got out side, still bemused by his strange behaviour that she realised she'd been in the bank next door to the post office. It was the proper main post office not a corner shop, so not quite as silly as it sounds. I think she was more embarrassed that the bank clerk had humoured her and "helped a batty old lady" rather than pointing out she was in the wrong place
 
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