Any good jokes ... ?

[Andy_R]

So a shark can undeniably swim faster than me.
But I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all boil down to which of us was the better cyclist

 

[MichaelW2]

So a shark can undeniably swim faster than me.
But I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all boil down to which of us was the better cyclist

A man wants a woman like a fish wants a bicycle.

 

[Seevio]

Odysseus: Now we set off on our odyssey!
Sailor: [Raises hand] What's an odyssey?
Odysseus: It's a long journey named after the only survivor.
Sailor: Oh, ok.
Sailor: ...
Sailor: Wait, what?

 

[Dave7]

A very old one brought to mind by something I just read........

A foreign guy goes into a London restaurant, peruses the menu and declares "I will have Pissoles and chips".
The waiter says..... "that is not a P its an R.
The guy says "oh, in that case I will have Rssoles and chips".

 

[screenman]

 

[Andy_R]

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K for the first time?

HDMI

 

[NorthernDave]

What's the angriest form of lighting?


An incandescent bulb

 

[PaulB]

View attachment 567681

Talking of which, the only thing the Flat Earth Society members have to fear is sphere itself.

 

[gbb]

A very old one brought to mind by something I just read........

A foreign guy goes into a London restaurant, peruses the menu and declares "I will have Pissoles and chips".
The waiter says..... "that is not a P its an R.
The guy says "oh, in that case I will have Rssoles and chips".

I had to read that twice to get it....

 

[Dayvo]

I had to read that twice to get it....

I got it first time, but chirs?

 

[glasgowcyclist]

As a result of Covid travel restrictions, the US has had to arrange a coup locally this year.

 

[Profpointy]

As a result of Covid travel restrictions, the US has had to arrange a coup locally this year.

Now that is very good indeed !

 

[Dave7]

I had to read that twice to get it....

Best when spoken tbh.

 

[Smokin Joe]

TO THE PRAT WHO LOST AN IPHONE OUTSIDE MARKS & SPENCER:

Can you please stop ringing my new phone, it's getting on my nerves.

 

[Dayvo]