Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

 

[Ming the Merciless]

“A man ran over a cockerel with his car and went to a nearby farmhouse to see how he can help. A woman opens the door and he says: “I appear to have killed your cockerel. I’d like to replace him.’ She replies: “Please yourself, the hens are round the back’.”

Barry Cryer

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Cavalol]

Ever tried to 'Google' Del Amitri?
I did, but nothing ever happens.
Nothing happens at all.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Cavalol]

‘Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a Welsh seaside resort in winter’.
‘Hmm. It sounds like you're Rhyl’

 

[Chromatic]

A friend phoned me the other night claiming he kept thinking he was a harp, but when I got round there it turned out he was a lyre.

 

[tyred]

 

[Dayvo]

View attachment 628834

Sure, I am impressed
Not heard of haiku before
I’ve learned something new

 

[Seevio]

I can't write haikus
I don't know how to end them
Hippopotamus

 

[Buck]

 

[morrisman]

“That’s not a pipe. THIS is a pipe”
Crocodile Magritte

 

[davidphilips]

Not a joke but worth watching just hope the link works?
View: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=217194877211516

 

[Dayvo]

 

[srj10]

My son came home with a sofa and an arm chair. He said, "Someone has just given me these."
So I've grounded him.
I've told him not to accept suites from strangers.

Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race.
He was caught using performance enhancing rugs.