Any good jokes ... ?

[Dayvo]

 

[Cavalol]

View attachment 661449

They just need a 'Tesla Owners Club' badge to go with that!

 

[Cavalol]

I paid up front for a carpenter to make me a double bed.

He’s only gone and done a bunk!

 

[Sharky]

The Queen's funeral is tomorrow and we have a bank holiday, but everything is going to be closed.
There was a sign up at the entrance to a local park we frequent, advising that the Circuit TV was closed!

 

[PaulB]

I’m sure there’s a joke to be found here!

View attachment 661392

Name the three former Scunthorpe United players who captained England? He was always the tricky one no-one got!

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Andy in Germany]

View attachment 661475

Careful, BMW drivers have enough trouble with indicators, and they're automatic.

 

[Andy in Germany]

One which @Reynard will probably appreciate:

 

[Cavalol]

A lorry carrying 200,000 Father Ted DVDs has been stolen.

Police say they have nothing to go on, go on, go on, go on.

 

[tyred]

 

[PaulB]

So I went to the barbers and said I wanted my hair cut like Frank Sinatra. When he'd finished, I was totally bald. I said "Frank Sinatra doesn't have his hair cut like this!" And he said "Well what's the name of the feller who plays the King in The King and I?"

 

[tyred]

 

[mikeIow]

View attachment 661556

I used to like tractors, but not any more.
I'm an

 

[bruce1530]

So I went to the barbers and said I wanted my hair cut like Frank Sinatra. When he'd finished, I was totally bald. I said "Frank Sinatra doesn't have his hair cut like this!" And he said "Well what's the name of the feller who plays the King in The King and I?"

I said to the barber "I want to get my hair cut like Tom Cruise".
So he put a box on the chair and said "climb up..."

 

[PeteXXX]

I once went out with a Welsh girl who had 36DDs.
She finished with me because I couldn't pronounce her name....