Any good jokes ... ?

[PeteXXX]

 

[presta]

Apparently the difference between a rectal and an oral thermometer is the taste.

The pathologist sticks his finger up the cadaver's bum, tastes it, then tells his students to do the same, which they do:

"This is a lesson in observation, note that I put my middle finger in the cadaver, and my index finger in my mouth".

 

[Toshiba Boy]

View attachment 770386

I've tried several times, but nothing happened. However, I've stopped now, as, to be honest, I don't want to faucet.

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[presta]

Apparently the difference between a rectal and an oral thermometer is the taste.

"An experienced fellwalker can tell the difference between bilberries and sheep droppings by the taste."
Alfred Wainwright

 

[tyred]

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

"An experienced fellwalker can tell the difference between bilberries and sheep droppings by the taste."
Alfred Wainwright

Reminds me of going for a walk with a friend when my daughter was little and her daughter was the same age - the kids were at the same nursery

we stopped for a picnic lunch up on Conwy Mountain and the adult were chatting while the kids were happily tucking into their food

I commented on the blueberries that her daughter had in her lunchbox
she looked confused and said " she didn;t have any blueberries"

yup - kid was happily eating sheep dropping with her sandwiches

no-one died

 

[Chris S]

"An experienced fellwalker can tell the difference between bilberries and sheep droppings by the taste."
Alfred Wainwright

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet."
Abraham Lincoln

 

[Dave7]

Reminds me of going for a walk with a friend when my daughter was little and her daughter was the same age - the kids were at the same nursery

we stopped for a picnic lunch up on Conwy Mountain and the adult were chatting while the kids were happily tucking into their food

I commented on the blueberries that her daughter had in her lunchbox
she looked confused and said " she didn;t have any blueberries"

yup - kid was happily eating sheep dropping with her sandwiches

no-one died

Many years ago my Bro was walking with his family when suddenly his boy (my nephew) picked up a worm and before they could stop him he just swallowed it whole.
He is still alive

 

[Pblakeney]

There was a time when children eating earth was not entirely unusual.

 

[Electric_Andy]

There was a time when children eating earth was not entirely unusual.

My sister once ate a slug. Apparently she was always running off and doing things before my mum could stop her. Not long after that she had to buy reigns.

 

[markemark]

Good luck to everyone doing the London Marathon today. I’ve done it a few times. My record was 2hr 53mins. Then I usually get bored and switch over to watch a film instead.

 

[Profpointy]

"An experienced fellwalker can tell the difference between bilberries and sheep droppings by the taste."
Alfred Wainwright

There's the story of a visitor to the countryside being sold some "learning pellets". Upon eating one he comments that they taste like sheep shoot. "There you go, you're learning already"

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Chris S]

My sister once ate a slug. Apparently she was always running off and doing things before my mum could stop her. Not long after that she had to buy reigns.

Slugs, like snails, are edible. The problems occur when they've eaten something toxic (like rat droppings) and it's still in their digestive system.