Any good jokes ... ?

[ozboz]

 

[bruce1530]

Q: What's the best way to think the unthinkable?


A: With an itheberg

 

[Tim Hall]

What causes crop circles?

Cereal killers.

 

[ozboz]

I heard a song on the radio today , it took me back to 1968 , the first time I went in a dance hall / disco ,
Desmond Dekka singing

Ooooo O De ears are alight '

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

For my wife's 40th she said she'd love a boob job , curious I asked why
"I'd like them big,round and be plenty there to grab hold of" she said ..
"Get some toilet paper, and where cleavage is and in between each boob rub for a while" I plumped up ..
"You think that will make them bigger ?" She quipped
"It should do, done wonders for your ar5e"

Are you still sleeping in the spare room?

 

[ClichéGuevara]

A group of guys,all turning 40,discussed where they should meet for Lunch.
Finally it was agreed they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini shirts
Ten years later at age 50 the friends once again discussed where they should meet for Lunch
Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive the food and service was good and the Beer selection was excellent
Ten years leter at age 60 the friends again discussed where they should meet for Lunch. Finally it was agreed they would meet in Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because there was plenty of parkingthey could dine in peace and quiet with no loud music and it was good value for money
Ten years later at age 70 the friends discussed where they should meet for Lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the restaurant was wheel chair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled
Ten years later at age 80 the friends discussed where they should meet for Lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet in Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because they had never been there before.

 

[JtB]

Finally it was agreed that they would meet in Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because they had never been there before.

We’ve all been to the Wetherspoons in Uxbridge before https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/any-good-jokes.78142/post-3303587

 

[ClichéGuevara]

We’ve all been to the Wetherspoons in Uxbridge before https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/any-good-jokes.78142/post-3303587

QED.

 

[bruce1530]

I went to the barbers yesterday and said “Can you cut my hair like Tom Cruise” ?

So he put 2 cushions on the chair.

 

[ADarkDraconis]

It was driving me nuts

That is what the pirate said when he was asked why he had a ship's helm on the front of his trousers...

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

What's a pirate's favourite letter of the alphabet?

Spoiler: Answer

Ye be thinkin' 'tis R, but his true love is always the C

 

[ADarkDraconis]

Farmhand: Hey boss, why does your dog always seem sad?

Fruit Farmer: Because she's a little melon collie...

 

[Cavalol]

My ex was a mute so she communicated through embroidery, sew to speak.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[Dirk]

I don't know what's meant to be wrong with innuendo and double entendres.

Only last week at the Library a woman asked me for a double entendre, so I gave her one.