- Location
- Egham
Or 31310?
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Or 31310?
OP
OP
cisamcgu
Legendary Member
- Location
- Merseyside-ish
- Location
- Egham
I can't do that on my phoneI think calculator jokes require it to be turned upside down
Smokin Joe
Legendary Member
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
Turn the phone upside down.
AndyRM
XOXO
- Location
- North Shields
- Location
- Egham
Tried that, the screen goes round...
The Crofted Crest
Veteran
Lay your phone on the table and then walk round to the other side. Or is that too much effort for a hearty belly laugh?
- Location
- Egham
betty swollocks
large member
Q: Why was Anne of Cleves covered in tooth marks?
A: Because Henry Tudor.
A: Because Henry Tudor.
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
A German, an Italian, a Frenchman and an Englishman are having a philosophical debate.
The question arises: What separates man from the animals?
"Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the hights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the beasts."
"I disagree," announces the Italian. "It is our food. The creatures of the wild eat, but they do not cook. Humans on the other hand, create amazing dishes and new combination that make eating a most enjoyable experience."
"I say it's art," decides the Frenchman. "No other being can create art. From our earliest days we have painted, and now we sculpt, write and compose as well. The wild animals cannot ever know what it is like to cry over a beautiful piece of art."
All three now look towards the Englishman, expecting his answer. He takes a long sip of tea before answering.
"The Channel."
The question arises: What separates man from the animals?
"Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the hights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the beasts."
"I disagree," announces the Italian. "It is our food. The creatures of the wild eat, but they do not cook. Humans on the other hand, create amazing dishes and new combination that make eating a most enjoyable experience."
"I say it's art," decides the Frenchman. "No other being can create art. From our earliest days we have painted, and now we sculpt, write and compose as well. The wild animals cannot ever know what it is like to cry over a beautiful piece of art."
All three now look towards the Englishman, expecting his answer. He takes a long sip of tea before answering.
"The Channel."
simonali
Guru
Or save yerself the trouble of walking to and then around a table by simply turning off the auto rotation feature.
morrisman
Guru
I went down to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions earlier today.
I walked up to the main desk to sign in and the lady pulled out a form to fill out.
She asked for my personal info, wrote it down and then asked me what I had invented.
I said, 'A folding bottle.'
She said, 'Okay. What do you call it?'
'A fottle.'
'What else do you have there?'
'A folding carton.'
'OK, what do you call it?'
'A farton.'
She chuckled and said, 'Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds a bit crude.'
I was so upset by her comment I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket...
I walked up to the main desk to sign in and the lady pulled out a form to fill out.
She asked for my personal info, wrote it down and then asked me what I had invented.
I said, 'A folding bottle.'
She said, 'Okay. What do you call it?'
'A fottle.'
'What else do you have there?'
'A folding carton.'
'OK, what do you call it?'
'A farton.'
She chuckled and said, 'Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds a bit crude.'
I was so upset by her comment I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket...
Profpointy
Legendary Member
That's feeble, contrived and stupid - but had me giggling for 10 mnutes !
