Any good jokes ... ?

[Andy_R]

A tandem rider is stopped by a police car. "What've I done, officer?" asks the rider.
"Perhaps you didn't notice, sir, but your wife fell off your bike a mile back . . ."
"Oh, thank God for that," says the rider - "I thought I'd gone deaf!"

 

[morrisman]

I've decided that, from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 1080p and above.
It's my new year's resolution.

 

[Cavalol]

£50 I paid the therapist to cure my Jim Diamond obsession.

I should've known better.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

I've decided that, from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 1080p and above.
It's my new year's resolution.

Had to google that. I don't keep up with tech. Nevertheless - well done - I've learned something

 

[Cavalol]

I got a rejection letter from the Origami University today.

I’m not sure what to make of it.

 

[Cavalol]

Just sat on the end of the bed pulling off the boxers.

My missus says I’m spoiling these dogs.

 

[PaulSB]

Just sat on the end of the bed pulling off the boxers.

My missus says I’m spoiling these dogs.

I'm have to stop laughing at your jokes........they the very good though!!!

 

[Cavalol]

Left my girlfriend because she wouldn't stop counting. I wonder what she's up to now?

 

[Cavalol]

I keep getting into trouble for undressing as a nun. It’s a habit I’m trying to get out of.

 

[Cavalol]

 

[PK99]

 

[LeetleGreyCells]

I recently joined a gymnastics club.

I had to bend over backwards to get in though.

 

[Cavalol]

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[PaulB]

My next door neighbour's wife told us to be vigilant as she'd had a pair of knickers stolen off the washing line. She's not too bothered about the knickers but she wants her 12 pegs back.