Any good jokes ... ?

[simon the viking]

A scottish friend of mine has just fixed all the holes in my driveway

Ta Mac!

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[Cavalol]

I find it difficult to distingush between music of the 80s and music of the 90s.



I can't tell my A-ha's from my Elbow.

 

[Cavalol]

These drawing pins are useless - I think I'll go back to using pencils.

 

[Dave7]

"Doctor, Doctor every time I get an erection it hurts" I said
"Does it burn?" He asked
"I don't know, I've never tried to set fire to it" I replied

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Cavalol]

The sweetest smelling of all the pontiffs was Pope Uri.

 

[Arjimlad]

 

[Cavalol]

I've been teaching hobbits how to play cricket. Bilbo’s good at catching, but he can’t really Frodo.

 

[AndyRM]

 

[mrandmrspoves]

I asked my wife if I was the only one she had ever slept with......she replied yes.
......all the others were nines or tens.

 

[PaulB]

Ronnie O'Sullivan's been sent off in the snooker!

It was a straight red.

 

[Cavalol]

Been offered a part in 'Oliver the Musical'



I couldn't ask for more.

 

[PeteXXX]

Waiter!!
Get me a crocodile sandwich and make it snappy...

 

[PaulB]

I've accidentally swallowed my cat's tablets. Don't ask meow.