Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

I took my dog to the park today to play frisbee with him.

He was useless,i need a flatter dog.

Talking of which, my new dog keeps barking at common people.






Turns out I’ve bought a Jarvis Cocker Spaniel.

 

[Cavalol]

A cravat factory has burned down in Birmingham. Luckily, there were no casual ties.

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[Dayvo]

View attachment 495568

Reminds me of Fran Cotton and his team advertising the delights of playing rugby in winter.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[Cavalol]

I used to feed the gorillas at Chester zoo from a distance, using a golf club.



I drove them bananas.

 

[Cavalol]

I bought a kitchen gadget, but I think it’s broken. It takes 24 days to strain some vegetables!

Turns out it’s an advent colander.

 

[Cavalol]

I can confirm that Ronseal does indeed do exactly what it says on the tin.

It causes nausea and vomiting if ingested.

 

[Threevok]

Talking of which, my new dog keeps barking at common people.






Turns out I’ve bought a Jarvis Cocker Spaniel.

True story..

My Neighbors cat is called "Bowie". When I asked why he said because he's a major tom

 

[Chris S]

True story..

My Neighbors cat is called "Bowie". When I asked why he said because he's a major tom

Another true story, my neighbour had a cat called 'Bowie' because it had two different coloured eyes.

 

[EltonFrog]

Another true story, my friend had a cat called Bowie, cos it made a noise like a talentless twat.

 

[Threevok]

I lost my job at the airport, after reversing into several planes

I refuse to look back in hanger

 

[Cavalol]

Only kidding, we've actually got a border collie.


He gives us £20 a week.

 

[Cavalol]

Just realised its 5 years since someone stole my entire herb collection.

Where did the thyme go?

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Throughout our marriage, my wife has always stood by my side.

She had to, we've only got one chair.