Any good jokes ... ?

[betty swollocks]

My local vicar's been in trouble for carrying on with his housekeeper.
I can't remember whether they found his vest in her pantry or her pants in his vestry.

 

[Cavalol]

Galileo once said:
"You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself."


He also said "Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango". Makes you think, doesn't it?

 

[raleighnut]

Galileo once said:
"You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself."


He also said "Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango". Makes you think, doesn't it?

I thought that was Figaro

 

[Cavalol]

I thought that was Figaro

Figaro was definitely Nissan, my mum had one.

 

[Archie_tect]

nah, Nissan built huts in the war...

 

[Cavalol]

I was once beaten up by Doris, Darren and Robin.

I didn’t know what Day it was.

 

[screenman]

Got one.....

I got fair, what did you get.

 

[screenman]

View attachment 533810

Hold on there the pool I swim in only had 4 lanes.

 

[Cavalol]

I thought I saw Michael J. Fox in a garden centre the other day. I can't be too sure though, he had his back to the fuchsias.

 

[mistyoptic]

A virologist, and epidemiologist, and a scientist walk into a bar....

Don't be stupid, of course they didn't

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Rezillo]

I thought I saw Michael J. Fox in a garden centre the other day. I can't be too sure though, he had his back to the fuchsias.

We need a Groan emoji, in several strengths.

 

[Darius_Jedburgh]

View attachment 534248

Yup. We got our first cat like that. He saw an open door and moved in.

 

[raleighnut]

Yup. We got our first cat like that. He saw an open door and moved in.

We've acquired 3 that way over the years.

 

[tyred]

It is my wife's birthday in a few weeks time and she's been leaving open jewellery catalogues all around the house.

I can take a hint and have bought her a magazine rack.