Any good jokes ... ?

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'I went on holiday to Poole.'
'In Dorset?'
'Yes, I'd recommend it to anyone.'
 

betty swollocks

large member
504073
 

Cavalol

Guru
Location
Chester
I met a Dalek in the pub last night who claimed he was from Devon.

I asked him “Whereabouts in Devon are you from mate?”
He replied “EXETER MATE! EXETER MATE!”
 

colly

Re member eR
Location
Leeds
Several men are in the locker room of the golf club. A mobile phone on the bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" "Yes." "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £2,000; is it OK if I buy it?" "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked." "How much?" "£90,000." "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £680,000 for it." "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of £650,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra thirty thousand if it's what you really want." "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!" "Bye! I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turns and asks ................ "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
 

Salty seadog

Space Cadet...(3rd Class...)
Several men are in the locker room of the golf club. A mobile phone on the bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" "Yes." "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £2,000; is it OK if I buy it?" "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked." "How much?" "£90,000." "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £680,000 for it." "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of £650,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra thirty thousand if it's what you really want." "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!" "Bye! I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turns and asks ................ "Anyone know whose phone this is?"


From a mile off... :okay:
 
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