Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Breaking News: A US vicar has died after injecting himself with disinfectant....... Donald Trump is being charged with bleach of the priest.

Edit - Ooops @betty swollocks already posted that

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

 

[Archie_tect]

I hear that Tescos in South Africa has abandoned its "Every Little Helps" ad campaign after hiring a local actor to do the voice-over.

Lidl [SA] on the other hand is reporting an unexpected increased footfall in all its stores.

 

[Sharky]

I hear that Tescos in South Africa has abandoned its "Every Little Helps" ad campaign after hiring a local actor to do the voice-over.

Lidl [SA] on the other hand is reporting an unexpected increased footfall in all its stores.

Had to read that twice before I got it.

Sales in Primark are down as well. Must be due to all the sales staff saying "Next please".

 

[CharlesF]

I hear that Tescos in South Africa has abandoned its "Every Little Helps" ad campaign after hiring a local actor to do the voice-over.

Lidl [SA] on the other hand is reporting an unexpected increased footfall in all its stores.

Nope, I don’t get it!

 

[smokeysmoo]

Nope, I don’t get it!

*adopt SA accent* "Every LIDL Helps"

 

[betty swollocks]

A haulage company had 26 lorries identified from A to Z. Most of them looked similar, but 'L' had a fantastic pearlescent paint finish and livery, fully electric seating, top-notch entertainment and navigation system, brilliant lighting and its interior was soft-lined in red velvet, so it could transport the most delicate, precious items.
One day, a job came in deliver some top-notch cosmetics and hair products to some leading celebrities. Conscious that this would be in the press, the owner wanted to send his best lorry so he could get some free advertising, so he lined up all the lorries and drivers in the yard and said, "I can only send one lorry, so I'm sending you, lorry L, because you're worth it."

 

[PaulB]

A haulage company .. lorry L, because you're worth it."

Had it been truncated to those essentials, it still doesn't qualify as a joke, does it?

 

[betty swollocks]

Had it been truncated to those essentials, it still doesn't qualify as a joke, does it?

Not in your miserable opinion, clearly.

 

[Moon bunny]

For all those who have lost track of the calendar, today is 58th March.

 

[Cavalol]

I'm selling some racing geese if anyone wants a quick gander?

 

[CharlesF]

*adopt SA accent* "Every LIDL Helps"

I think my brain was sidetracked, thinks ”Tesco isn’t in SA ....”

 

[Archie_tect]

I think my brain was sidetracked, thinks ”Tesco isn’t in SA ....”

Neither's Lidl...