Any good jokes ... ?

[postman]

i had a girlfriend once who had a habit of counting loudly while were were out on our dates.We split up,i wonder what she is up to now.

Another Star Trek joke,Captain Pickard.

 

[postman]

i have bought two dogs i am calling them Timex and Rolex they are watch dogs.

 

[postman]

i have been out all day buying Beatles lp's my wife says it's an obsession and i need help.I told her i got that last week.

 

[Supersuperleeds]

i have been out all day buying Beatles lp's my wife says it's an obsession and i need help.I told her i got that last week.

She should support you and just let it be.

 

[tyred]

 

[Seevio]

Me: At some point in a relationship there comes a point when you've seen your partner's a***hole more than they have themselves and I think there's something beautiful in that.
Priest: The bride has also chosen to write her own vows.

 

[Arjimlad]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[roadrash]

My surgeon suggested I try some orthopaedic shoes to help my mobility, I didn't think they would work, but I stand corrected.

 

[tyred]

 

[Profpointy]

View attachment 723284

Sadly that took me a lot longer than it should have

 

[PeteXXX]

I’ve just learnt a dull yet interesting fact

Koi fish always travel in groups of four. If attacked Koi A, B and C will scatter, Leaving behind the D Koi.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

I was in a hotel in Yorkshire last week, I asked where I could find towels. I was given directions to a bird sanctuary.

 

[tyred]

I was very pleased with my home-made guitar but my wife was very cross with me when she seen it.

 

[Speicher]

I was very pleased with my home-made guitar but my wife was very cross with me when she seen it.

View attachment 723352

Wood you ply any of the songs by The Carpenters?