Any good jokes ... ?

[Alex321]

I'm sure you'll get it if you perch in the right place.

 

[tyred]

 

[craigwend]

 

[Dave7]

I have just moved into my new bungalow.
I was going to buy a house but that's another story.

 

[kynikos]

I have just moved into my new bungalow.
I was going to buy a house but that's another story.

I was building a house but ended up short of money and ran out of bricks. "Don't worry" said the contractor, "we'll just bung a low roof on it".

🧥

 

[tyred]

My wife and I have decided we don't want to have children.

We will tell them after dinner.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Cavalol]

 

[morrisman]

I just bought a pair of computerised secateurs.
They're cutting hedge technology.

 

[Dave7]

I decided to cut down on my drinking so now only have 1 vodka before going to bed.
Last night I went to bed 8 times.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Dave7]

Incorrectly is the only word that when spelled correctly is still spelled incorrectly.

 

[PeteXXX]

You can’t have a murder of crows without probable caws...

🐦

 

[Chris S]

A load of bullocks.