Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

 

[Cavalol]

My Gran popped round to visit this morning. Lovely to see her. She had a little tinkle on the piano — luckily I got it mopped up before any damage was done.

 

[Cavalol]

Lots of people remember Phil Oakley from the Human League in the 80s, but very few remember his sister Carrie who invented singing in pubs.

 

[tyred]

 

[craigwend]

 

[Shortfall]

A flounder and a sole were swimming in the ocean when they bumped into each other.
The sole said "A flounder"
The flounder, to be polite said nothing.

Can someone explain?

 

[Punkawallah]

Can someone explain?

‘A sole’, in American, could sound like ‘ass hole’.

 

[craigwend]

 

[craigwend]

 

[craigwend]

 

[Profpointy]

View attachment 795807

In a similar vein Jesus walks into a restaurant and says "table for 26 please". The maitre d' responds "but sir, there are only 13 of you". "Ah yes, but we all want to sit on the same side of the table"

 

[raleighnut]

View attachment 795806

Reminds me of the SAHB album 'Tomorrow Belongs To Me' with the 'Giant Stoneaters' on the cover.

 

[craigwend]

Phoned the toy shop to see if they had the game 'operation '

They do but there is a 3 year waiting list...

 

[Profpointy]

Phoned the toy shop to see if they had the game 'operation '

They do but there is a 3 year waiting list...

and it's a rather troubling game when you realise the patient seems to be wide awake through the procedure

 

[Toshiba Boy]