Any good jokes ... ?

[presta]

 

[lenfield]

 

[Electric_Andy]

Especially on wrinkles. One of many reasons I don't have a tattoo is that I don't want to announce to the world that "I 🤎 I\I//I\" in twenty years.

If I get that old, having tattoos and what people think about them will be the least of my worries!

 

[Andy in Germany]

View attachment 811414

If that's genuine, the company just lost a lot of very good free advertising.

 

[Moon bunny]

If that's genuine, the company just lost a lot of very good free advertising.

Jamie Jones, a well known PITA among press officers etc. There are many such time-wasting trolls and the general consensus is not to feed them.

 

[Jameshow]

Jamie Jones, a well known PITA among press officers etc. There are many such time-wasting trolls and the general consensus is not to feed them.

Good work I say! WBAC deserve it!!

 

[tyred]

I've walked through the shadow of the valley of death.

That's the last time I trust Google Maps.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

The shortest complete sentence in the English language is "Go."

The subject "you" is implied and the verb "go" is intransitive, which means that it doesn't need a direct object.

On the other hand, the longest complete sentence in the English language is "I do."

 

[lenfield]

My mother-in-law went into the butcher's and said, "You've got a sheeps head in the window."
The butcher said, "No, that's your reflection."

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

I was recently PMed by my German mate, he was working in Scotland on a farm. I was keen to meet as I hadn't seen him since we were young and into Drape jackets and creepers.

The thing is, he didn't say the name of the farm so I went around with a picture of the two of us.

"Nah, never seen him" said the first farmer.

"Nah, nah, nah" was the discouraging response.

Then "aye him, he did work here, the obnoxious so and so. Good with the manual implements though, especially at wheat harvesting He's at Clarkson's farm, next one along."

Once I get there I show the picture and ask the question.

"Yeah I know him. Rude Rolf the Ted hoes grain here."

 

[Jameshow]

My mother-in-law went into the butcher's and said, "You've got a sheeps head in the window."
The butcher said, "No, that's your reflection."

Shouldn't that be cows head?!

 

[Tenkaykev]

That's going to be a good look in their 70s!!!

I can answer this courtesy of my wife. Yes, she's in her 70's but no, she doesn't have anything fake ( apart from a titanium knee replacement ).
She worked at the local hospital for several years. One of her elderly patients had had breast augmentation as a younger woman. My wife said how strange it looked with gravity and wrinkles having taken its usual toll coupled with a pair of firm upright breasts🤔

 

[biggs682]

From today's Penguin 🐧 bar

Q. Why did the penguin make a fish pun ?

A. Just for the halibut!

 

[tyred]