Any good jokes ... ?

[PeteXXX]

One of her elderly patients had had breast augmentation as a younger woman. My wife said how strange it looked with gravity and wrinkles having taken its usual toll coupled with a pair of firm upright breasts🤔

So how does she keep her knees warm in the winter? 🤔

 

[dicko]

 

[tyred]

 

[Cavalol]

Wanted: Someone to brush their teeth with me, because 9/10 dentists say brushing alone won't help tooth decay.

No weirdos.

 

[tyred]

I've read that sugar is more harmful than cocaine.

I decided to switch to putting a spoonful of cocaine on my Weetabix every morning.

 

[matticus]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dr9MH0NuUtg

 

[raleighnut]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dr9MH0NuUtg

Jet engines run on Kerosene (Parafin) not petrol so the car (if it started) would run like a bag of spanners.

Petrol aeroplane engines (with cylinders) use 'Avgas' (100 Octane Petrol) as do racing bikes in fact Steve Parrish who has his own airfield and light Aircraft (Plummet Airlines) was a major supplier to the bike racing fraternity (well the ones he liked) of 45 gallon drums of Avgas back in the 2 stroke days.*

* They changed the rules so that now they must use the fuel supplied by the circuit pumps with the only exceptions being CRMC and VMCC machlnes some of which run on Methanol. The rule change was bought about for safety reasons (they said) as a collection of ratty old Transits and converted Coaches with barrels/jerrycans of petrol spread throughout the paddock was dangerous.

 

[newts]

 

[tyred]

Jet engines run on Kerosene (Parafin) not petrol so the car (if it started) would run like a bag of spanners.

You could fit a vaporiser to the exhaust manifold vaporise the paraffin. It would then run on it when warmed up, like a TVO (tractor vaporising oil) tractor, state of the art c1940.

Okay, they were temperamental things, and only worked properly in ideal conditions. Modern fuel systems and high compression engines would be most unhappy, but in theory it should work.

Diesel engines must have seemed a Godsend to tractor operators back then.

 

[tyred]

 

[Andy in Germany]

 

[Chislenko]

Over the weekend I was at the caravan. Saturday morning I am trying to extend the blue and white canvas shelter that usually comes out and retracts from the van no bother.

I have turned the handle in and out numerous times but to no avail.

I am just about to give it one last go when 70's pop sensation Cat Stevens appears from the next caravan singing "Awning Has Broken"

 

[Vapin' Joe]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

Do you think they all are, down there ... 🤔

 

[tyred]