Any good jokes ... ?

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Hover Fly

He, him, his
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阿爾弗斯頓
I think no, not at all. I have submitted one or perhaps two jokes but there is a reason for my reluctance to submit any more and that is fear of repetition. It is a poor show when I see a joke on here that has previously been posted by another member just one or two days earlier.
Positives: I love to hear from @Accy cyclist and his latest clothing purchases.
Another member drew attention to some bargain tyres, I went ahead and bought two and later thanked
him for the tip.
This week I contributed to offer my recommendation for wood treatments and these three examples
are just ones that spring readily to mind.

The downside of print as opposed to the spoken word is how the reader interprets it. My recent comment to you was not intended as a criticism but a friendly light hearted ‘dig’’. Think for a moment, if you and I were face to face and I said my comment to you with a smile I’m sure you would have received it with good grace.

I’ve read that three times and still can’t see the punch line.
 

Dumpty

Well-Known Member
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.





The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.





The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank cheque and says, "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing."





The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.





She says to the mortician, "Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?" To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank cheque. "There's no charge" she says. "No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!" she says.





"Honestly, ma'am," the mortician says, "it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice."





"So I just switched the heads."
 
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