Any tips for leaving work matters behind?

[Panter]

I'm fed up with the sleepless nights and waking in the early Hours due to worrying about work.
The worrying doesn't solve anything, just makes me more tired, stressed and less able to deal with things.

Excercise doesn't seem to solve it, any tips?

 

[swee'pea99]

Alcohol. Cheers!

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

I went thro' this a long time ago and ended up very ill. You seem to have spotted the danger signs and if riding your bike isn't working then at the very least take some significant time off work. Indeed if your GP can sign you off so much the better. In the longer term you may have to change what you do. Don't ignore it tho'

 

[lazyfatgit]

In these situations it sometimes helps to have a notebook beside your bed. When you wake up with something bothering you or an idea, write it down. Then you can review in the morning.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

[quote name='swee'pea99']Alcohol. Cheers![/QUOTE]

Not really I'm afraid.

 

[4F]

Change jobs. Seriously though I have suffered from this in the past and I feel your pain. I used to wake up at 2 in the morning and really struggled to get back to sleep.

I found that going to bed later helped as then I was too tired to think about work.

 

[Amanda P]

Have an absorbing project going on at home. An exotic tour, maybe, or some complicated DIY project.

As you travel home, think about your home projects rather than what's going on at work. If the home project is sufficiently absorbing, you end up thinking about that rather than about work, and fall asleep still thinking and scheming about it.


It has to be something you're fairly passionate about, or the work thoughts will overcome it.

Works for me.

 

[Krypton]

Been in the same boat and ended up changing my working hours (and days) and telling the boss I needed less responsibility.

Not because I couldn't manage the responsibility, but because I was very good at my job and had very efficient working practices. As a result I slowly (over a good number of years) ended up taking on more and more responsibility to the point where I'd piled on so much it broke my brain.

I took some time off work, got some counselling, and on return to work explained to my boss that I needed to off-load some of my jobs and reduce my overtime hours so I was back down to the level of a normal working week.

That did the trick, and allowed me to switch off when leaving work.

I now recognise the signs of feeling worked-up over work issues outside of working hours, and do my best to resolve them at work so they're no longer a problem.

I also learned that it's okay to say to your boss "I can't really manage that on top of the other stuff I'm doing, sorry." ... and it's also okay to say "No, sorry, I can't do that for you." when a colleague asks you to do some of their work. They get pissed off to start with, especially if you've always done it for them, but they soon learn to do it for themselves.

Sorry, I'm waffling. Hope this helps.

 

[Bman]

Agreed. You need to sort out the work problems, or the issues wont go away.

Without knowing exactly whats bothering you at work, and what your job entails, I cant really suggest anything specific.

 

[Greedo]

I'm fed up with the sleepless nights and waking in the early Hours due to worrying about work.
The worrying doesn't solve anything, just makes me more tired, stressed and less able to deal with things.

Excercise doesn't seem to solve it, any tips?

How do you get home from work mate?

Never really been like this myself as you might have guessed I don't take very much seriously, but a mate swears by this who was getting really stressed.

Told everyone in his work he wouldn't take any calls on his mobile after 6.30 so set a ground rule with them
He drives home every night and arrives between 6.30 and 7
Sits in the driveway and switches off the radio and phone
Sits for 10 mins thinking about the day
Reviews in his head what he did well, what he could do better, any issues with anything else, writes them down and then leaves the pad in the car with his work phone.
Goes into the house, see's his wife and kids and he's a lot more relaxed

His wife swears he's a changed man since he started doing it and he has slept well since and hence her, as he's not tossing and turning all night, she's happier and not tired, he's happier and not tired, they enjoy their evening more and they have more rumpy pumpy. Everyones a winner!

 

[ChrisKH]

As Krypton has said.

As sleep seems to be a problem, get into an evening/bedtime routine; no alcohol or caffeine after a certain time, bath if it helps you relax, relaxation tape to get to sleep, hot milk etc.. If you do wake up and are stressing then do something different for an hour but nothing too taxing.

If you are having that many problems do as I did and change jobs. It's not worth beating yourself up over it. Consider counselling or hypnotherapy. But first step must be to talk to Mrs. Panter (if there is one) and tell her you have a problem. If no Mrs. Panter, then talk to yourself and admit you have a problem and take positive steps to remedy it. It's not a sign of failure to admit the current set-up at work doesn't suit you. Think positive.

Don't leave it. Have been in same position before and it's not worth making yourself ill over it.

Best of luck.

 

[XmisterIS]

I would invite you to ask yourself where your personal boundaries are - e.g. do you find yourself saying "yes" to things even when your diary is overflowing with other things that you've also said "yes" to?

 

[Norm]

In my experience (I won't go into the details) but +1 to the notebook and try self-hypnosis. Unfortunately, I was taught it by medical professionals (no, really, I won't go into the details) and it is not easy to teach yourself but I now have a routine which involves deep breathing exercises then tensing every muscle I can feel, and relaxing them individually up the legs, then up the arms, then chest and neck. I do this in tandem with breathing exercises (breath in whilst counting to 5... breath out whilst counting to five, relax and repeat)

Having written down whatever it was that was bothering me in the first place, I'm usually gone again before the end of that.

Plan B, depending on how anal you are, count in binary on your fingers. You can get to 1,023, which is much better than using decimal when you can only get to 10. If you can't count in binary, so much the better. Clear the crap out of your brain and replace it with something which you won't worry about.

I know some people who lie awake worrying if they have insomnia. Don't lose sleep worrying about sleeplessness. It seems frivolous but it isn't. If you wake up, read a book. Stay in bed and relax but don't just lie there, in the dark, worrying about shoot which isn't worth worrying about. Relaxing in bed is still giving your body recovery time, find a crap book to empty your mind as well.

If you find yourself waking at 3:30 every morning, that's a sign (IMO) that you should see someone with better qualifications than the armchair shrinks on CC. And no, I'm still not going into details.

 

[ttcycle]

Hey Panter

Sounds like things aren't ideal right now. There have been some stellar posts on here.

But here's my contributions as things to think about:

Do you enjoy what you do?
Are you good at setting down boundaries with collegueas/boss/others at work?
Have you taken on too much?
What can be changed to make work less stessful and play on your mind?
Does the things that bother you involve changes from your end or is there a lot of elements that are beyond your control ie waiting on others to complete processes?
Are you challenged by your job in a good way?
Are you passionate about what you do?
Have things changed very recently or has it crept up on you?

For me- I've always been great at leaving things at work - put it this way, I work in a field where you have to learn to do that quickly otherwise you end up eaten up with it all. Basically, you are employed to work said hours. Any time outside of that is YOUR time- that's to rest, for you, your family and friends. If it's been an awful day at work- get in and chat with a mate/partner - let off steam and that's it- write it down - give yourself an hour to think and be strict with it. You're not at work- thinking and turning it over is not going to help you or your work- you're slowly eroding away at your own sanity and energy.

Get out and see friends,maybe have a break from pushing too hard re cycling and spend your time on things you love - drinking really won't help-makes things worse.

Take it easy. I'm in the middle of sorting out a huge issue at work-I have vast sympathies with you - don't leave it and my big tip is if you constantly have brought issues to your team/managers and nothing is being done - walk and find somewhere deserving of you and your time - don't let it cost your health - it's where I'm preariously balanced at the moment.

All the best.

 

[snapper_37]

I go through exactly the same thing every few weeks.

It's a horrible feeling and I don't think there is a 'quick fix'. People have said to me 'Get a new job' but it's not that easy - dependent on what your niche is and what's in the area, mortgages and bills are heavy round your neck.

What I have found helps is to write things down before you leave work and try and leave just positive notes on how you can help the situation/what's worrying you.

Talking is also good. My OH and old girl are good listeners and as they say, a problem shared is a problem halved. Naff and cliche maybe, but it does seem to work.

Hope things get better Panter because I know how it can really bring you down. There seems to be solid advice on here too.

Also - don't know if this is relevant - I'm a really light sleeper and also 'worry' about the slightest noise I hear. I believe that this is the initial thing that wakes me up so i sleep with ear plugs.

Good job the OH doesn't read this because she can snore like a pig sometimes!!!