Aren't I the proud parent.

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MichaelM

Guru
Location
Tayside
While BFB's kid is off to sing at the Royal Albert Hall, and others proudly anounce their kids GCSE results etc etc...

I've just had 4 cops at teh door to take my son away for questioning. I just happened to be on the phone to the local nick to see whether or not I could go to bed and the bell rang....

" He's upstairs" I said, and sent them to his bedroom. Have to admit I was disapointed that they were so polite and called him mate.

Earlyer, I'd had a guy at the door complaining he'd damaged his car. I told him to report my son to the Police.

My son has not been involved (caught?) with any criminal activity, but his behaviour leaves something to be desired.

We withdrew him from school this time last year (in reality, he would have been kicked out anyway) due to his behaviour.

Blame the parents all you want - I honestly feel I've done my best for him. He had the chance of a good education and turned his nose up at it as being talked at by old ppl in class is boring.

Uneducated, unemployed, unemployable.

I want to kick him out, this will move the wife closer to my train of thought (when she fids out, she's on holiday with her sister - should I phone and tell her?).

He turned 17 in April.

As an ex-squaddie, I sometimes think a good kicking would do him the world of good.

Now this would probably have been better off in soapbox.... and if I've mis-spelt anything... don't even start.

I swear, I'm at my wits end with him....
 

Bigtallfatbloke

New Member
..what does he like doing? What is he good at?
 
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MichaelM

Guru
Location
Tayside
Likes sleeping and playing the playstation (before I cut the plug off - about 2 months back and have rfused to re-fit it since). Hanging about doing nothing with like-mided ****wit mates.

Good at:

Mountain biking - amazing skill on North Shore type stuff
Tae Kwon Do - 2nd red at the age of 10.
Swimming.
Maths and Physics - untill his best mate who was top of the class changed schools. He then went from 2nd (competing with mate) to bottom.

He's also very good at winding me up.

These days he just sleeps, winds me up, and hangs about with mates. I can't live his life for him. Other than that I'm at Uni trying to study Physics.
 
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MichaelM

Guru
Location
Tayside
What to do?

My wife is hloiday with her sister in Crete.

Do I phone and tell her tomorrow - and spoil her holiday. Or do I keep quiet untill she comes back - and get told off for not telling her?

Any mothers reading this????
 

Bigtallfatbloke

New Member
...I can't tell from your post how serious this thing with the police was...but maybe a serious talking to by them might be in order....dunno...here are my thoughts ...

...is he bored?

http://www.m-a-d.co.uk/home.html

Maybe he could ride for this lot and burn off some of that energy and have fun and maybe earn a little bit?

I was watching a tv show tonight about cadets in the marines...all aroung his age (ish)...??

Sounds like he is rebelling against anything he doesnt like....find something positive he likes and let him loose.

But what do i know...just a stranger on the internet....I wish all luck anyway.:blush:

P.s. for my money I'd let your wife have a nice holiday without worrying her...deal with it best you can and sort it all out together when she gets home. I'm sure she deserves a nice holiday without any worry.
 

Noodley

Guest
I wouldnae bother your wife, let her enjoy the holiday.

He hasnae killed anybody. But it sounds like he's about to find out that life ain't for pissing about with.
 

Abitrary

New Member
MichaelM said:
As an ex-squaddie, I sometimes think a good kicking would do him the world of good.

I don't think that would solve anything. It will just make him even more angry at the world. And possibly one day at you as well.

What I'd do is use mental tricks to make him strike the first blow, and then you can give him a good kicking back with good justification.

I'd practice speaking whilst fighting in the meantime, not just pulling a mean face, so when this day comes you can explain what's happening while you fight.
 
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MichaelM

Guru
Location
Tayside
I don't think that would solve anything.

I know you're correct. But right now I can't think of anything more positive.
 

Bigtallfatbloke

New Member
Violence is the last resort of the exhausted intellect...communication breakdown...so talking in a fight as per the last comment is a pretty good idea. Hopefully you won't let it come to that though.
 

Bigtallfatbloke

New Member
...take a deep breath...get some space away from each other for a few hours/ days....a punch up isnt going to solve anything...

...you are/were a soldier right?....I'm pretty sure soldiers are trained and are good at remaining calm in a shoot situation...apply that now....take some time...and move on once you and the Mrs have decided what is best when she gets home....
 
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MichaelM

Guru
Location
Tayside
I'm not going to burden you with this anymore tonight.

He's still at the Police station. I'm going to try and get some sleep.

Mrs.M will have a nice holiday - untill she comes home. And in my sleep I'm going to have sweet dreams about Quantum Mechanics.

Night all.
 
Location
Hampshire
We've had very similar experience with our 18 year old, it's not very nice being in youth court thinking how the hell did we end up here when we he's had a stable, loving home and a 'good' upbringing etc. Things are gradually improving, he's now in the TA but I think joining the regulars is the only thing that is likely to sort him out. I used to beat myself up about having failed as a father sort of thing but I think sometimes there's nothing you could do. I get a bit annoyed when people are a bit holier than though and do the blame the parents bit, yes some parents don't give a toss about their kids but we do. Our eldest is an absolute gem, A levels, work ethic etc. so we must have got something right somewhere. I expect there are a lot more parents about with similar problems but when everyone else seems to be discussing what uni their brilliant offspring are going to choose you tend to keep your mouth shut.
 
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