Arghhh...Families...brown stuff hit the rotating object...

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Fab Foodie, 30 Dec 2007.

  1. Fab Foodie

    Fab Foodie hanging-on in quiet desperation ...

    One reason I dread the "Festive Season" is having to load up my family and trawl around the rest of the family...the in-laws usually OK apart from being cooped-up for 4 days, but pleasant.
    Then there is my side of the family in Devon...basically nobody here wants to go...(for reasons I can't be bothered to type out tonight), but dutifully I persuade us all to get in the wagon, button our lips and do the descent thing for the sake of Harmony as we have done year-in, year-out. The upside to this was also a New Year Party nearby with all my old schoolmates, a tradition of over 25 years.
    Have been doing this dutifully for more years than I care to remember, but this year the inevitable straw broke the Camel's back. Much upset, we packed and left after less than 24 hours.
    Basically it leaves me between the devil and the deep, I've tried to do the 'right-thing' and it's all gone tits-up. I'm just waiting for the backlash from my sister now. We make all the running and play it straight, I can't win, there are no winners in this, it's a big bag of family poo.

    I F'in hate Christmas-time :ohmy:

    Oh, and the party? Looks like bundle all into the wagon for a 160 mile drive down to Devon again for at least a decent party hosted by people who we visit just 'cos we like them not'cos we have too. Apols to all for the additional Carbon footprint, but bollocks, I want some bloody fun during this season of goodwill...
  2. Dave5N

    Dave5N Über Member

    Go for it.

    I pretty much gave up on my family years ago when I realised I wanted to be me, not the person they wanted me to be.

    You choose your friends though, so look after them.

    Enjoy the party!
  3. marinyork

    marinyork Resting in suspended Animation

    I understand completely. We all used to have to do a 250 mile journey down to see my mother's family every christmas/summer. In 1995 the straw on the camel's back broke and all this crap about family falling out and people being hacked off. Ultimately I think some people just don't appreciate when relatives make long journeys under these sort of circumstances and that you can never win. My mother visits occasionally and my sister visited them this year and was moaning about some dreadful christmas there only a couple of days ago. Some things never change.

    As for the party, hell go, it sounds great :ohmy:.
  4. I sacked the under-performing members of my family.
  5. OP
    Fab Foodie

    Fab Foodie hanging-on in quiet desperation ...

    Cheers guys.

    Marinyork, much of today's issue were around the fact that nobody in the family ever visits, frankly if we don't travel they'd never see us,(in fact they'd have last seen us 20 years ago) my kids don't want to go because they're mostly ignored when their cousins living locally are lauded as the best things since sliced bread... my lazy self-centred sister is the Queen.

    Party tomorrow, work on Wednesday...hallelujah.
  6. OP
    Fab Foodie

    Fab Foodie hanging-on in quiet desperation ...

    I like your style...
  7. bonj2

    bonj2 Guest

    Why didn't you just camp? Would have saved an awful lot of climate change.
  8. OP
    Fab Foodie

    Fab Foodie hanging-on in quiet desperation ...

    err, because my tent was a long way from where I was...
  9. Dave5N

    Dave5N Über Member


    Your family sounds like mine. Enjoy the party. Don't be guilty about the family. I decided when I had kids where my loyalties were. And most of it is because they are really jealous of our achievements.
  10. col

    col Veteran

    I thought it was just us,but i can identify with you FF,if we didnt do the running,we wouldnt see my family,so we stayed at home for christmas dinner starting a couple of years ago,instead of running after them,never had a better christmas day since,wish we had done it long before.
  11. OP
    Fab Foodie

    Fab Foodie hanging-on in quiet desperation ...

    I can see the truth in that. I think because we just get on with our lives without impacting the rest of the family we're forgotten. My sister and mother on the other hand have created enough drama over the years for all of us.
    The one person who tried to keep all of this together was my Father who died a few years back of a heart-attack. Am convinced that the stress on him caused by the antics of the rest of the family played their part in his untimely demise. Like me he tried to keep everybody happy...I now wonder why he bothered.

    Oh well, sleep now and face the music tomorrow.
  12. Chuffy

    Chuffy Veteran

    Ah. I avoid the vast majority of mine, so far as is possible, which causes a bit of tension with Mum, but she's gradually getting used to it.

    Not pleasant for you and yours though.
  13. wafflycat

    wafflycat New Member

    middle of Norfolk
    Families, ah yes. I referred to most of my near relatives as The Borgias. They smile to your face whilst stabbing you in the back. Best left well alone. The best thing that ever happened to me (apart from husband & son) was when I was effectively 'disowned'. Oh what a huge favour was done!

    I had the same sort of lot who expecte me to travel hundreds of miles to see them but they couldn't be bothered to get off their collective arses and make the journey to me, and if I didn't frequent home as often as they wanted, then I was castigated for having forgotten my 'roots' and of having ideas above my station... Nasty bunch.
  14. Twenty Inch

    Twenty Inch New Member

    Behind a desk
    We've just had to sack MiL, thanks to her energy-sapping, passive-aggressive, sullenness. I've never met anyone with less interest in their own life, who would prefer to sit in one room and make us feel guilty about not entertaining her, rather than get up and go out. She didn't leave the house by herself for 10 weeks! And such a well-developed line in obvious banalities! "Oh look, a red car" "Oh look, a little house".

    We went to Greenwich yesterday, to the Museum in the park. History of time and all that. She'll never go there again, but did she want to look at the museum? No. Which would be ok, if there were something else she's interested in, but no, nothing.

    SWMBO is upset that her mum is such a drip. We've stopped tiptoeing around her feelings, and just tell it like it is now. It's sad, because she's not stupid - trained as an engineer, then as a child psychologist, but somewhere along the way just decided that she doesn't want to think any more, just wants to stay in a place where she knows who is going to say what, when, and what to say back to them, without any sort of interest, challenge, development, knowledge.

    She's going home early, and thank God.
  15. wafflycat

    wafflycat New Member

    middle of Norfolk
    20"... your MIL sounds depressed - as in depression the illness. Perhaps she needs to be dragged to a doc for checking over? I'm aware that's much easier said than done!
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