asking someone out - question

[MontyVeda]

surely you have a close friend who can approach that certain someone and ask "will you go out with my mate?"

 

[LegsRsore]

Women like men who know what they want in life and aren't scared to ask for it. It's a show of strength.

Be straight with this girl. Tell her that you like her but also continue to tell her that you like her friendship just as much. Explain to her that under no circumstances do you want to make her feel uncomfortable or upset any friendship you may have had, but you had to tell her how you feel with a hope that she feels the same way. If she doesn't immediately blow you out, then;

Ask her for a no strings attached, get to know each other date. Don't use the typical date scenarios, ie pictures, meal, etc. Go for something that is more relaxed. A walk around the park and a coffee? A bike ride if that's her thing?

At the end of the day you've got to decide if you think she's worth taking a chance on. If the answer is yes then embrace the situation.

Good luck

 

[007fair]

Back in the day I would nurture the friendship and so be pretty sure of the answer before the plunge was took. Tread carefully if the social group is a big part of your life.

Set your expectations to low, tell her you like her in a complimentary way (she'll appreciate that even if she doesn't want to take it any further). Let her know that if she is not happy with it then you wouldn't be either. Get it right and you will end up better friends that before even if she says no. And if she says yes - bobs your uncle!

 

[glasgowcyclist]

To sum up my father's advice: a faint heart never f*cked a maiden.

GC

 

[Night Train]

Women like men who know what they want in life and aren't scared to ask for it. It's a show of strength.

Good luck

And the 'show of strength' doesn't have to be a " So, wanna go out wiv me? 'cos you're really hot, like, and I fancy a bit!".

It can be a confident development of interest, in the appropriate direction, over a period of time.
It is nice having someone being genuinely interested, but not pushy or with a single focus or purpose to the interest, or with a premature assumption that there is, or is going to be, more to the relationship then there really is or will be.

 

[Fnaar]

Innuendos based around the mutual interest are probably a good idea... for cycling, for example, "would you like to try my pump?", or "Can I just check your stays?" would no doubt do the trick.

*Seriously though, nowt ventured, nowt gained. Give it a try, if it is you, al78.

 

[Over The Hill]

There is a bit of a crossover between being a friendly person within the group of friends and a full on, ask out on a date.
You are simply trying to get the subject away from the pack - they will see this and should give you the right signals to carry on and for the activities to be more of the relationship type.

Also - just think like an Italian- they wear their sex drive more on their sleeve than the buried British way. If an Italian in your group fancied someone they would not hold back, and they would not worry about a "no" - and basically it is a complement to the suject that you fancy them.
So go for it and good luck!

 

[Smokin Joe]

And the 'show of strength' doesn't have to be a " So, wanna go out wiv me? 'cos you're really hot, like, and I fancy a bit!".

Bloody hell Night Train, where I come from anyone who came out with a line like that would be regarded as a sophisticated charmer. Especially if he was feeling his crotch and dribbling.

 

[Black Sheep]

Women like men who know what they want in life and aren't scared to ask for it. It's a show of strength.

Be straight with this girl. Tell her that you like her but also continue to tell her that you like her friendship just as much. Explain to her that under no circumstances do you want to make her feel uncomfortable or upset any friendship you may have had, but you had to tell her how you feel with a hope that she feels the same way. If she doesn't immediately blow you out, then;

Ask her for a no strings attached, get to know each other date. Don't use the typical date scenarios, ie pictures, meal, etc. Go for something that is more relaxed. A walk around the park and a coffee? A bike ride if that's her thing?

At the end of the day you've got to decide if you think she's worth taking a chance on. If the answer is yes then embrace the situation.

Good luck

hate to say it, that backfired on me big time!
Its in how you do it, leave the invitation for a drink / whatever open so if she mentions inviting someone else be fine with it "the more the merrier" she may be wanting a small social group thing as she's either wanting to let you down gently or a bit un-confident in meeting up just the two of you - give it time.

 

[Red Light]

Women like men who know what they want in life and aren't scared to ask for it. It's a show of strength.

Be straight with this girl. Tell her that you like her but also continue to tell her that you like her friendship just as much. Explain to her that under no circumstances do you want to make her feel uncomfortable or upset any friendship you may have had, but you had to tell her how you feel with a hope that she feels the same way. If she doesn't immediately blow you out, then;

Ask her for a no strings attached, get to know each other date. Don't use the typical date scenarios, ie pictures, meal, etc. Go for something that is more relaxed. A walk around the park and a coffee? A bike ride if that's her thing?

At the end of the day you've got to decide if you think she's worth taking a chance on. If the answer is yes then embrace the situation.

Good luck

Coorrrr........that's a lot for a nervous young man to remember and say and even more by the time you've finished that monologue she'll be on the bus home with all the baggage you are placing on her.. Just a "Fancy going for a coffee when this has finished" will do fine. Simple, short, no explanations, no excuses and if she says no it was hardly asking her to snog you in the working relationships stakes. Bike rides, walks in the park, snogging, can all come later.

 

[Night Train]

Bloody hell Night Train, where I come from anyone who came out with a line like that would be regarded as a sophisticated charmer. Especially if he was feeling his crotch and dribbling.

I have had the "Well, you're nice, don't mess me about, and there's no one else to ask..." chat up line said to me.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

Is there a way around this, or is it an inevitable risk that one has to take if one wishes to date the opposite sex?

I fear it is the inevitable risk one has to take regardless of the gender of the object of your heart's/loin's desires.

 

[Nihal]

^^^^^^^

 

[Smokin Joe]

[QUOTE 2034272, member: 1314"]

Ten minutes later she’s “Look. I’m married with 2 kids. I don’t love my hubby but I have a comfortable lifestyle. It’s nice. And I love the kids. I don’t want to get divorced but I’m unhappy more often than not, bored, and my hubby isn’t soulful enough. He wants me to be a stepford wife.”

I nodded.

She carried on “I want an affair with you. We’ll sleep together – we can get decent hotels – but it’s not going to be a romantic thing as I don’t want the families breaking up. It’s just excitement and fun – the boundaries will be set. And there won’t be anyone else, and it won’t be a one-night stand. I want it to be long term. The French do it, after all.”[/quote]
Now that's what some of us would describe as "Striking Gold".

 

[Smokin Joe]

I have had the "Well, you're nice, don't mess me about, and there's no one else to ask..." chat up line said to me.

Arch can be a bit up front at times. Glad it worked out.