Bestest job you ever had

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by gbb, 21 Jan 2008.

  1. gbb

    gbb Legendary Member

    Arbitrarys post re loud sound systems reminded me (indirectly) of a job i had,

    Surveying for prospective coalfields in Nottinghamshire...

    Drive a 3.5 ltr Landrover round all road, all conditions, virtually no rules or supervision (cept maybe an occasionaly irate farmer )
    Occasionally lay some cables and recording equipment for an hour, ready for the next round of explosive detonating.
    Occasionally get a Landrover stuck, or mercilessly take the mickey out of another driver who gets one stuck.
    Frequently sunbathe in the summer.
    Frequently freeze in the winter (wouldnt want you to think it was all fun)
    Work for 3 weeks solid in the rain....we swore it would never stop :biggrin:
    Eat your sandwitches with hands covered in dust, mud or cowshit :biggrin:
    Learn how to detonate industrial explosives.
    Learn how you can pull up those explosives from 10 ft the surface. See the crater you can make doing that :tongue:
    See how many dead creatures you can blow up in the process...
    Learn how to make a vehicle backfire at will....much to the disgust of the mechanics.
    See how a coalshed collapses when you detonate too close to it.
    See how water mains (not shown on the maps) bursts and flood when you detonate too close. :smile:

    Race like maniacs down the road from Belvior Castle, and take off over a small hump back bridge....all four wheels in the air. I broke the chassis on one Landrover doing that.
    Lunacy...i'll show you lunacy....

    Surely i wasnt the only 17 year old fcukwit let loose with a crew of equally crazy job i ever had for lunacy and fun :biggrin::biggrin:

    Go on then.....
  2. Dave5N

    Dave5N Über Member

    Were you in the A Team?
  3. Chuffy

    Chuffy Veteran

    My early finishes and afternoons in the pub (on MY time, before you start...) with Royal Mail suddenly look a bit crap.

    WANNA JOB WIV EXPLOSIVES! :biggrin::evil::evil::tongue::eek::smile::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:
  4. papercorn2000

    papercorn2000 Senior Member

    Not really a job, but I did live upstairs from a lap-dancing establishment.
  5. longers

    longers Veteran

    More of a hobby?
  6. Sh4rkyBloke

    Sh4rkyBloke Jaffa Cake monster

    Manchester, UK
    There must have been some work involved in creating all the peep-holes, no? :smile::biggrin:
  7. OP

    gbb Legendary Member

    On the negative side..
    I wrote off one landrover...crashed into an unlit tractor with one wheel parked on the A1 (farmer was shutting the gate). Twas raining and dark....didnt see the wheel till i was 10 ft away. Shame i was doing 65 at the time :ohmy::ohmy:
    Driving without due care m' endorsement and £30 fine (a lot then)

    Got thrown off a moving l/rover once...and launched myself headlong onto some grass. Not as soft as it sounds is grass.....i probably had concussion with hindsight. It felt like i had an axe buried in my skull xx(:biggrin: Worst headache i EVER had.

    Compressed my neck once....walking along the line, duty blaster hadnt seen me, no siren given, and i was virtually stood on the point where the explosives were.
    They go off underground with a KERRRUMPPPPP, raise the ground for a millisecond, then its over.
    It pushed me upward but my head stayed still, compressing my neck xx(xx(. No long term damage....just thanked my lucky stars it wasnt one of the ones we'd pulled up to make a crater :ohmy:

    The A Team...i like that :smile:
  8. alecstilleyedye

    alecstilleyedye nothing in moderation Moderator

    the wife was banging on about going to centre parcs, what with the swimming pool, cycling etc. i said that i get that at work anyway, so why pay for it?

    she didn't see the funny side.
  9. OP

    gbb Legendary Member


    'Banging on'....:smile: Not surprised she didnt :biggrin:
  10. My best job was driving artics for a company called Beldray (they used to make ironing boards and stepladders). I had the biggest lorry on the fleet and used to do all the multidrop work, which usually involved going out on Monday and not getting home until Friday afternoon. I used to do a regular route around Scotland, delivering to Homebase and Focus DIY stores, which are only open for deliveries from 9 to 5. So, I was being paid to drive a huge truck around the most scenic bits of Scotland (or Yorkshire, or Cornwall and Devon, or wherever), working very short hours. In the summer, I used to chuck a bike in the trailer and go exploring after work, before finding a cosy pub and having a few beers. On weeks I wasn't doing multidrop work, I often used to either start at 6am and be all finished and back at home by mid morning, or drive a couple of hours to an Argos depot, where I'd spend anywhere up to eight hours sitting on a loading bay playing my guitar, reading or just going back to bed, before driving a couple of hours back to base and going home.
    They went bust in the end. Saddest day of my life, I had to start working for a living.:smile:
  11. Jaded

    Jaded New Member

    I once got £1,500 for half an hour's work.

    That was quite good.
  12. Dave5N

    Dave5N Über Member

    Sexing chicks. :angry:

    Not reallygood at all. caged battery birds are - were - bad news.
  13. Dayvo

    Dayvo Just passin' through

    Bee-keeper in Israel

    Hod-carrier in London

    Farmhand in Norway

    And, until very recently, being a greenkeeper in Sweden!

    Maybe the best is yet to come! :angry:
  14. Keith Oates

    Keith Oates Janner

    Penarth, Wales
    The best job is always the last one, but by the time you realise it, it's too late!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  15. ChrisKH

    ChrisKH Veteran

    My best and worse job was collecting glasses in a night club when I was 14-15. shoot work & crap pay. But I didn't look my age and the clientele were mostly female aged 15-35 on holiday (the club was on a well known camping and caravan site in the south east but has now been closed, used to host a lot of regular cabaret stars; Jimmy Davidson, The Drifters, etc. ) and looking for a good time. It was my finishing school. I had many good times there; once walked in on the boss shagging a barmaid and had to take champagne to a stripper amongst other things. :tongue: Nearly blew my head off changing a beer barrel the wrong way and when a plate glass mirror fell on my head. And the hen nights, well...............:wacko: If I had been a little more mature and wiser I could have been dangerous.:angry:
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