Bloopers while abroard

[ThePainInSpain]

Always remember Spanish is back to front, or is it the other way around (we drive on the right also).

Ultimately, to us it matters not, as we cannot understand one word that the peasants speak where we live ................. it's more than a dialect it's almost a different language, and this applies from village to pueblo.

Hey Ho...........

 

[fimm]

In a French lesson at school, I said "piscine" (swimming pool) when I meant "poisson" (fish).
Trying to talk German to my boyfriend (who is bilingual in English and German) I pronounced the name of the "Sparkasse" (literally "savings box") bank as though it was "Sparkaesse" ("savings cheese")...

 

[661-Pete]

Here's a real story (takes my mind off things) and not smut!

I was at a party with my classmates from Spanish evening class, and the teacher had invited along some of her 'real' Spanish friends. The instruction was that we were all to try speaking Spanish at the party as best we could.

The party was out in her back garden and there were lots of bees buzzing around. I hesitantly put together something like "all those bees, flying around visiting flowers, gathering nectar to make honey". I was perplexed when all the Spanish-speakers around me doubled up in laughter, slapping their sides, waving their arms in 'flying' gestures and making "Baaaaaa! Baaaaaa!" noises.

The word abeja (bee) in Spanish, is very similar in pronunciation to oveja (sheep). Remember that 'b' and 'v' are the same sound in Spanish.

 

[gbb]

Here's a real story (takes my mind off things) and not smut!

I was at a party with my classmates from Spanish evening class, and the teacher had invited along some of her 'real' Spanish friends. The instruction was that we were all to try speaking Spanish at the party as best we could.

The party was out in her back garden and there were lots of bees buzzing around. I hesitantly put together something like "all those bees, flying around visiting flowers, gathering nectar to make honey". I was perplexed when all the Spanish-speakers around me doubled up in laughter, slapping their sides, waving their arms in 'flying' gestures and making "Baaaaaa! Baaaaaa!" noises.

The word abeja (bee) in Spanish, is very similar in pronunciation to oveja (sheep). Remember that 'b' and 'v' are the same sound in Spanish.

Now thats funny

 

[gary r]

on a cycling trip in Spain i stopped at a remote cafe (no tourists anywhere) i asked for what i thought would be a universally understood word, "sandwich please" i recieved a blank look from the man behind the bar.he called out and a young girl came out from the back "sandwich" i repeated,to which the girl said "ah sandwich" with a heavy accent the bar owner repeated "ah sandwich"Glad we managed to sort that out i sat down and waited,i was then presented with an ice Cream !!!! the square ones with the wafers,(an ice cream sandwich)

 

[Globalti]

We had a Spanish Assistant at college named Fermin. Somehow he got roped into going around collecting for a jumble sale. At the end of the first day he came back completely empty-handed and a bit disillusioned at the reception he had had from these supposedly generous English people.

Next day somebody went along with Fermin; at the first house he asked the lady (you need a Spanish accent here) "Ple-ase Misses, 'ave joo got anny clo-thes for de humbley saley?"

(J is pronounced as a guttural H in Spanish.....)

 

[MossCommuter]

I got the diminutives of birds and penises (cocks, dicks, knobs, whatever) mixed up in Afrikaans.

Yeah...

...that was embarrassing

 

[HLaB]

I was on a cycling Holiday in Spain a few years back; high up in the mountains we went through a village where we decided to stop for lunch at a cafe bar; my mate went in an ordered in his best 'pigeon spanish' the barmaid replied, pardon! in the most polite English accent

 

[taxing]

My mate is living in Hong Kong for a year and wanted two tickets to see Alice in Wonderland. It was a good job she checked the pronunciation with someone she knew before buying them, she had been asking for tickets to 'Shitting in Wonderland'. Apparently the way they pronounce 'Alice' is something like 'Oy-ly-see', which is very close to 'shitting.'

 

[goo_mason]

My Mum once announced that to an old French farmhand that she'd spent the day lying in the sun in her bathroom suite (salle de bain), and frequently mis-pronounced "Merci beaucoup" as "Merci beau cul", so that she was saying "Thank you, nice arse".

 

[ColinJ]

A group of colleagues were on a skiing holiday in Andorra. They'd drunk several bottles of wine with their meal and wanted more so one chap beckoned a waiter to their table.

He waved a hand at the empty wine glasses and said to the waiter "Same again, por favor."

The waiter just stood there with a blank look on his face...

Colleague points at the glasses - "Same again, same again!"

The waiter nodded and went off to the bar, returning a few minutes with several bottles of chilled San Miguel!

 

[Bromptonaut]

I can usually get by in French but I mixed up facture (bill) with facteur (postman). So Mr Campsite, asked for what I thought was the bill, shrugs, galnces at his watch and saysl 'peut etre a midi'. Now given that it's 10:30 at Le Mont Dore and I'm wanting to get to Rouen tonight it ain't the answer I'm looking for. Fortunately his wife, when she'd finished pi**ing herself, provided me with a sum in Euros!!

The there was my mate Ian observinf casually about the voitures dans la ciel; we'd been the previous day to see vautours (Vultures) and there were several circling over the Tarn valley.