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Boiled Eggs and Third Degree Burns: Avoidance Of.

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Andy in Sig, 29 Sep 2007.

  1. Andy in Sig

    Andy in Sig Vice President in Exile

    I cannot be the only one who finds it difficult to start the day when the insurmountable obstacle of a boiled egg is placed on the table in front of him. What I mean is that it is clearly obvious that you have to hold the thing still by downward pressure of the finger tip while taking a swipe at it with a knife in order to remove the top. The problem is, of course, that the egg has a temperature which would put the surface of the sun to shame. It occurs to me that somebody needs to invent a thimble like thing made of insulating, flame resistant material to get over this. Has this already been done? It would save millions of man-seconds at the breakfast table which no doubt would add up to a couple of weeks nationally and thus mean that more trains would be caught on time and so the economy would receive a boost.

    If these safety thimbles don't exist, how do you cope?
  2. Brock

    Brock Senior Member

    Use the upturned teaspoon to hold the egg steady in the eggcup while inserting the knife through it's neck. Small side to side movement before a concerted twist should decapitate it neatly, then you may proceed to dip your little soldier without having to touch the painfully hot eggshell at all.
  3. asterix

    asterix Comrade Member

    Limoges or York
    Frequent sanding of the finger tips will harden your skin, and make you impervious to pain.
  4. Brock

    Brock Senior Member

    Or you can use the bunched corner of your serviette to form a comfortable make shift heat proof thimble. If the servants have forgotten to provide a suitable table napkin it is quite acceptable to use the corner of your table cloth for the same task.
  5. Cycling Naturalist

    Cycling Naturalist Legendary Member

    This used to be the final test in SAS selection, after the 180 mile route march and the 72 hour "hard" interrogation and it was surprising how many broke down at this point. However, those who were likely to make Brigadier by the age of 30, used the following technique.

    Rap the shell at the top with the edge of a teaspoon to break the shell. Insert the tip of the spoon with the spoon held so the curved inner surface follows the surface of the egg and gently lever off sufficient shell to expose enough egg white for digging into in the normal manner.
  6. Brock

    Brock Senior Member

    Bring a needle and thread with you to the breakfast table. With a sharp and fast stabbing motion you can impale the egg right through with the needle, without having to touch the shell. Hold the protruding point of the needle with one hand and loop the thread once around the 'neck' of the egg with the other, using the needle ends as a guide. Pull the thread tight so that it cuts through the shell in a slow and gloriously sadistic garrot while cackling wildly at your ultimate power over the egg before finally ending the decapitation with a neat flourish of the thread as its head falls satisfyingly to the saucer.
  7. Andy in Sig

    Andy in Sig Vice President in Exile

    Well I'm glad to see that this thorny topic has occupied wiser heads than mine. I've got a half memory - in fact it may have been in a utopian dream - that somebody developed a gadget which you put on top of the egg thus postioning the gadget's blade optimally. You then rotate it so that the blade scores the shell through thus making it ready for easy removal ... or was it just a dream after all?
  8. Brock

    Brock Senior Member

    Perhaps if you're still having trouble even after all our top class advice you should invest in this thing here.

  9. Pete

    Pete Guest

    A number of obvious solutions spring to mind:
    1. Have your egg hard-boiled, and allow to cool in cold water before shelling.
    2. Have your egg scrambled, on toast.
    3. Have your egg fried or poached.
    4. Don't eat an egg at all.
    My preferred option is (4). :biggrin:
  10. Pete

    Pete Guest

    Utopian dream maybe, but wasn't it a Lilliputian casus belli, IIRC? Or am I thinking of Christopher Columbus?
  11. Bigtallfatbloke

    Bigtallfatbloke New Member

    we have one of those egg de capitator gizmos which we bought in Germany (all the family over there have them)
  12. alecstilleyedye

    alecstilleyedye nothing in moderation Staff Member

    two options:

    1) be a woman (mum and wife seem impervious to hot cooking utensils/food)

    2) learn a stringed instrument (violin is said to be very good for that).
  13. Hugo15

    Hugo15 Über Member

    Get someone else to hold the egg for you. That's what my 4 year old daughter does....... "dad, it's too hot!!"
  14. spesh

    spesh Well-Known Member

    Correct first time.
  15. Andy in Sig

    Andy in Sig Vice President in Exile

    I tried that yesterday morning and it doesn't work. Maybe the eggcup was too shallow or something. Anyway it moved every time I hit it. Come to think of it, why aren't eggcups lined with some sort of material which offers a lot of friction? I'm probably going to order that device you recommended in the next week or two.


    the smashing idea seems sound in principle but delicacy of touch is something I can't muster before around 10 am and so decided that discretion was the better part of valour. It would no doubt be the perfect technique if boiled eggs were served at dinner parties. Perhaps a little silver hammer (like the ones doctors hit your knees with) would be the perfect aid?