Bullsh*tters

[Profpointy]

When I worked in a Social Enterprise that ran a theatre, we used to repeatedly get clients in the team who claimed to be a "DJ'" We aren't sure why. Possibly because many of our clients were generally unskilled but didn't want to admit it, and they thought DJ'ing was far enough removed from theatre that we'd not rumble them.
Unfortunately for these tellers of tales, one of the staff was a semi professional DJ...

To be fair any fool can stick a record on can't they?

 

[Milzy]

A team member phoned me one morning to say his Nan had died suddenly.
Two days compassionate leave.
A year later his Nan died suddenly. OK we all must have had two grandmothers.
Two days compassionate leave.
A senior manager quietly suggested I had a quiet look at his record.
Turns out this guy had had at least five Nans!
When I challenged him he explained, without hesitation, that he had a complicated family tree!
He is still at work and a few more of his nans may have died by now. ;-)

We had a guy who said his dad had died for a few days off. A week later his dad phoned the works landline asking if he could speak to him.
Sadly his dad will be dead now & so is the lad.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Seems I’ve won rear of year for the fifth year running.

 

[classic33]

Seems I’ve won rear of year for the fifth year running.

Where are you keeping the one's you don't use?

 

[Drago]

We had a guy who said his dad had died for a few days off. A week later his dad phoned the works landline asking if he could speak to him.
Sadly his dad will be dead now & so is the lad.

I knew a bobby who blagged a day off for his Aunt Agatha's funeral.

He tried it a few years later, and stupidly used the same Aunt. Unfortunately for him an eagle eyed Inspector realised that Aunt Agatha was unlikely tomhave died twice...

 

[newts]

There's a guy works down the chip shops swears he's Elvis

 

[Drago]

Doing the covid testing volunteering this week I actually met a teenage lad called Elvis.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Doing the covid testing volunteering this week I actually met a teenage lad called Elvis.

Was he all shook up?

 

[Drago]

My quip about not spending too much time on the toilet went way over his head.

 

[Juan Kog]

Doing the covid testing volunteering this week I actually met a teenage lad called Elvis.

I worked with an Elvis . Luckily he was a very extrovert character, so could handle the name.