Bullsh*tters

[CanucksTraveller]

I agree that sometimes, bullshatters can be highly amusing.

A colleague of mine used to tell a story about a vet he knew. The vet had apparently been booked to a stud farm to deliver mercy to a particularly old and sick horse he'd previously treated, and who was now at the end of her life. The vet thought this would be a good opportunity to wind up a friend who he did shooting with, and so he took his friend along on the premise that they were going shooting. Turning up at the farm, the vet spotted the animal in question, and said to his friend "watch this", and promptly shot the horse between the eyes with his rifle, fully expecting his friend to be completely horrified.
At seeing this however, the friend said "f*cking hell, I'm having some of that!", and shot two prize stallions in the next paddock before the vet could stop him.

Utter tripe undoubtedly, but his invented tales of stupidity always raised a laugh. He was a harmless and entertaining buller.

 

[Tail End Charlie]

I reckon this thread is a cunning ploy by the OP to find the biggest B***rs on Cyclechat. If you've posted two times or more about people you know who (insert story here) .......it makes YOU a B****r.





Everyone now frantically checking their number of posts on the thread

 

[Drago]

If theres a bigger bullsheeter than me on this forum id be surprised, although I prefer flowery embellishment to outright fabrication.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

I once beat Mark Cavendish in a sprint. Modesty prevents me from mentioning it. Embarrassment prevents Cav mentioning it.

 

[matticus]

I reckon this thread is a cunning ploy by the OP to find the biggest B***rs on Cyclechat. If you've posted two times or more about people you know who (insert story here) .......it makes YOU a B****r.

You're getting into META-bullsh*tting now. This could get complicated ...

 

[All uphill]

A team member phoned me one morning to say his Nan had died suddenly.
Two days compassionate leave.
A year later his Nan died suddenly. OK we all must have had two grandmothers.
Two days compassionate leave.
A senior manager quietly suggested I had a quiet look at his record.
Turns out this guy had had at least five Nans!
When I challenged him he explained, without hesitation, that he had a complicated family tree!
He is still at work and a few more of his nans may have died by now. ;-)

 

[Drago]

I once beat Mark Cavendish in a sprint. Modesty prevents me from mentioning it. Embarrassment prevents Cav mentioning it.

I can confirm this is true, as I saw you do it. I was riding a Raleigh Chopper in the same race and still finshed 6th, despite smoking a pipe and being busy rolling a J for the naked hooker riding pillion.

 

[Tail End Charlie]

META-bullsh*tting

Not quite sure what that is, but I love the term!!

 

[mustang1]

A mate has the system six by Cannondale £6000 quite heavy, terrible up hills and he hasn’t really got the power to see the aero gains. Still looks cool.

I just googled that and the first result was "buy it for just £235 per month". Wow, the days when we have to take a out loan to purchase a bike.

Ps: I was going to leave it there but I'm sure someone will chime in with a comment so I'll just say this: if you have little money and cannot afford even a basic cycle, then taking out a loan might be ok. But with these ridiculously expensive bikes, taking out a loan seems very odd. Mmmh, thinking about that, I suppose you can say that about anything yet people still do it (cars for example). Oh well, as you were.

PPs: there may come a time when you have to take out a loan to buy a pen to do your schoolwork. you might get a "School Care Package that includes a "starter" pen (less aerodynamic but get's the job done) and a couple of books plus a calculator". Ok, really going off the rails here.

PPPs: this is one of those times I should not just splurt out all the thoughts that come into my head.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

I can confirm this is true, as I saw you do it. I was riding a Raleigh Chopper in the same race and still finshed 6th, despite smoking a pipe and being busy rolling a J for the naked hooker riding pillion.

You should have ridden your unicycle. With just one wheel the superior rolling resistance means Mark wouldn’t have a chance.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

If theres a bigger bullsheeter than me on this forum id be surprised, although I prefer flowery embellishment to outright fabrication.

I don't think the embellishments were particularly flowery in those Y fronts.

 

[monkers]

I don't think the embellishments were particularly flowery when describing those Y fronts.

He needs more flowers!




Correction: we need him to use more flowers.

 

[keithmac]

I've worked with a few, it's a funny thing really as the more they tell a story the more they actually believed it happened in real life, uncanny..

I speak to people who pretend to know what they are on about most weeks (days even) nowadays. My bullsh1t tolerance is zero now unfortunately and most get stopped dead in their tracks, or I'll string them out for 5 minutes before letting them know subtly I know they are full of it.

No need for it at all and I don't have time for anyone who BS's their way through life personally..

 

[Salty seadog]

When I was a young bobby there was a lad on the team a few years older than me, and he was reckoned to be a terrible bullpoiser of the first water. He was always talking about aikido, ju jitso, and all sorts of jap slapping and reckon he was a 98th dan at deadly stares. All the crap. i'd always got on ok with him, but even I reckoned the tales smelled a bit.

Anyhoo, off duty one saturday evening at a party with a few fellow bobbies and this lad had turned up. An hour or so in and a fight started and someone swung and Billy Bullsheeter, who responded by going full-on Steven Seagal and dismantling about half a rugby teams worth of big lads without breaking a sweat - proper full-on jap slapping worthy of Jackie Chan on speed. I still recall standing there with my jaw just hanging open!

He needs to up his game to get to the finals.

View: https://youtu.be/DkI85Kt10e4

View: https://youtu.be/SWgg20IqibM

 

[captain nemo1701]

As manager of a testing lab, I had one awkward staff member would always go off 'sick' prior to events like Easter & Xmas. So one day, I conned him into letting me know the name of his local pub. That xmas, he dutifully went sick about two days before we all broke up.

I phoned the pub and the landlord was most helpful in passing me over to him.....

Bullsh***ers?.....try Downing Street