Bullsh*tters

[matticus]

"jap slapping".

<snort> Not heard that before.

 

[Milzy]

My old supervisor said the worlds biggest pike lived in Worsbourgh reservoir in Barnsley & his mate had the very motorbike that Steve McQueen rode in the great escape film in his garage 🙄

 

[mustang1]

Aero road bikes that have more "features" than a TT bike.

 

[Milzy]

Aero road bikes that have more "features" than a TT bike.

A mate has the system six by Cannondale £6000 quite heavy, terrible up hills and he hasn’t really got the power to see the aero gains. Still looks cool.

 

[BrumJim]

When I was a young bobby there was a lad on the team a few years older than me, and he was reckoned to be a terrible bullpoiser of the first water. He was always talking about aikido, ju jitso, and all sorts of jap slapping and reckon he was a 98th dan at deadly stares. All the crap. i'd always got on ok with him, but even I reckoned the tales smelled a bit.

Anyhoo, off duty one saturday evening at a party with a few fellow bobbies and this lad had turned up. An hour or so in and a fight started and someone swung and Billy Bullsheeter, who responded by going full-on Steven Seagal and dismantling about half a rugby teams worth of big lads without breaking a sweat - proper full-on jap slapping worthy of Jackie Chan on speed. I still recall standing there with my jaw just hanging open!

Had a colleague at work a bit like that.

My boss commented that he had heard most of his stories on Radio 2 in the previous few days, and we heard at least 4 stories as to how he broke his little finger, but when it came to the most outrageous ones, particularly in the field of Karate and general fitness, when challenged he would prove you wrong, and him to be telling the truth.

Never knew how much to believe, but he did tell us that his parents sent him away to boarding school at an early age, and didn't show much interest in him after that, so suspect his sporting prowess and bullsh****ng came from a deep sense of insecurity - a need to be loved and respected.

 

[monkers]

My bike frame is made from drilleum and is pressurised with frozen liquid hydrogen using a system I invented myself; now I can overtake e-bikes up hills and barely need to turn the pedals.

 

[tony111]

My mate worked down t'pit and told me about a bullshooter colleague who used to come out with some beauties.
He turned up late again for work..." I ride to work on me pushbike and the snow's 4foot deep so I rode on people's garden walls. I'd got halfway here then some bas###d left their gate open".

 

[Moon bunny]

My bike frame is made from drilleum and is pressurised with frozen liquid hydrogen using a system I invented myself; now I can overtake e-bikes up hills and barely need to turn the pedals.

And the more hydrogen you pressurise in, the lighter the bike gets.

 

[monkers]

And the more hydrogen you pressurise in, the lighter the bike gets.

Well-observed. The pressure is critical as too high a pressure causes me considerable exertion when cycling downhill. In fact people think of me as being quite nuts when they witness it. I overcome this difficulty by planning all uphill circular routes.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

And the more hydrogen you pressurise in, the lighter the bike gets.

I have a fat tyre bike with Hydrogen inflated tyres - using my system the bike is so light I have to check the weather charts because if the pressure is too low then the bike looses traction and tries to float away

 

[monkers]

I have a fat tyre bike with Hydrogen inflated tyres - using my system the bike is so light I have to check the weather charts because if the pressure is too low then the bike looses traction and tries to float away

When I tried that my bike inverted and my head scraped along the tarmac as I pedalled. I temporarily used a roller skate strapped to my head, but now my system is perfected I have a presentation booked to be on the next series of Dragon's Den. As I already am the patent holder for the wonder material that is Drilleum, I feel I can't miss.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Hydrogen ha. I have anti gravity coils that I can deploy for uphills. I charge them on the downhill where I set them to increase gravity and my speed.

 

[monkers]

Hydrogen ha. I have anti gravity coils that I can deploy for uphills. I charge them on the downhill where I set them to increase gravity and my speed.

The theory at least of the anti-gravity coil is quite exquisite, and I did consider them. However, when coupled with the necessary magnetic flux capacitor, I have to say that as a woman, I find the experience of turning into Michael Faraday each time I pass a pylon, Nikola Tesla each time a sub-station, and Elon Musk each time I pass an EV charging point to be rather disturbing.

 

[Electric_Andy]

My mum used to do B&B and once we had a rather strange chap who stayed for a week. 90% of his tales were cobblers and he always had a more extreme story than anyone else. My mum remarked that I (8 years old) had very hard feet and would often go outside in bare feet. So the strange chap replied "that's nothing, my sister used to run bare foot along barbed wire fences". He was so tragic it was funny

 

[Drago]

One of my neighbours is like that. Shes harmless enough, but no matter what you've had or done, she's done it better.

I can play bass - she can play every instrument ina classical orchestra.

I have a shotgun - she keeps an M270 MLRS under the bed.

Sever a hand - she'll have once chopped her head off and waited outside the doctors over the weekend, being careful to stay upright so the blood didn't spill out, to get it glued back on.

That sort of thing.