Could you not just make it up?
i.e. make it sufficiently boring that they won't continue reading it to the extent that they'll know you made it up?
Pepper it with lots of ifs, buts and maybes, so it won't come back to bite you on the arse. e.g. "I endeavour to" is a good phrase, rather than "I will".
Just sit down at your computer for an hour and just bang out loads of stuff off the top of your head. Prolly be pearls before swine anyway.`