Cack-handed, maladroit, inept? Tell all about your most tragic bike repair/fettling experience.

Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.

Fnaar

Smutmaster General
Location
Thumberland
I struggled to pull it outwards again one handed.
At this point I realised that I couldn't reach the landline, or my mobile, which was on the table. I had brief visions of starving to death, before I managed to wrench it open enough to get the finger out.

I've been there too. Amanda, was her name :ohmy:
 
OP
OP
betty swollocks

betty swollocks

large member
These are great, although I fear that if we let Fnaar loose for much longer, there is a very real danger that some of the wholesomeness of this thread may be lost.
 
OP
OP
betty swollocks

betty swollocks

large member
A sneaky pearoast from me...
After a glass or three of wine, i started building up a singlespeeder.
I fitted the chainset, then the wheel (just loosely in the dropouts) then the chain, adjusting it to length. I then tried to tighten up the quick release, as which point I noticed the unused rear mech hanger, on the opposite side of the bike. I'd assembled the entire transmission on the wrong side

Did you rebuild, or did you ride off into the sunset with your bike slowly unscrewing itself?
 
Decided to replace my Shimano spds,there's an allen key hole on one end
and flats for a spanner to undo said pedal,stuck my long allen key in the hole
and started pushing with all my force on the pedal spanner.............hmmm
not moving,tried holding the spanner then trying to undo with the allen key
Grrrrrrr.................still not moving,put a pair of grips for more leverage on the
end of the allen key and heaved..........................nothing moved :cursing:

After about half an hour of sweating and cursing it dawned on me you could
undo it with an allen key or a spanner,not working against each other as I'd been doing
I just used the allen key and it instantly undid ..................wot a numpty
 
OP
OP
betty swollocks

betty swollocks

large member
Decided to replace my Shimano spds,there's an allen key hole on one end
and flats for a spanner to undo said pedal,stuck my long allen key in the hole
and started pushing with all my force on the pedal spanner.............hmmm
not moving,tried holding the spanner then trying to undo with the allen key
Grrrrrrr.................still not moving,put a pair of grips for more leverage on the
end of the allen key and heaved..........................nothing moved :cursing:

After about half an hour of sweating and cursing it dawned on me you could
undo it with an allen key or a spanner,not working against each other as I'd been doing
I just used the allen key and it instantly undid ..................wot a numpty
I'm giving this one a commendation. Thanks for sharing. lol-045.gif
 

TheDoctor

Noble and true, with a heart of steel
Moderator
Location
The TerrorVortex
A sneaky pearoast from me...
After a glass or three of wine, i started building up a singlespeeder.
I fitted the chainset, then the wheel (just loosely in the dropouts) then the chain, adjusting it to length. I then tried to tighten up the quick release, as which point I noticed the unused rear mech hanger, on the opposite side of the bike. I'd assembled the entire transmission on the wrong side
Did you rebuild, or did you ride off into the sunset with your bike slowly unscrewing itself?
It was a singlespeed, so I had to rebuild it. Or ride it backwards, I suppose.
Had it been a fixed, I'd have wellied the pedals up extra-tight and left it.
I'd have had to turn my SPD cleats round though.
 

Kestevan

Last of the Summer Winos
Location
Holmfirth.
I snapped a carbon seatpost, then managed to drop the remaining section into the seat-tube where it has remained ever since.
 

RaRa

Well-Known Member
Location
Dorset
I think I've mentionned this on here before but mine was punching myself in the face while trying to fix a puncture. Took me over an hour to get the damn tyre off.
 

Brains

Legendary Member
Location
Greenwich
In the middle of nowhere repaired the last inner tube and then inflated using a car air line.

The last inner tube exploded with impressive results taking the tyre with it.

End result was a very expensive taxi 30 mile taxi ride to the nearest bike shop with the bike for a new tyre and innertube
 

Moodyman

Legendary Member
Mine was last night.

Got a finger stuck in the disc brake rotor as I spun to check that it wasn't rubbing the pads.

Deep cut into the nail of my middle finger.
 

al78

Guru
Location
Horsham
Here's mine which I experienced a couple of months ago, copied from uk.rec.cycling.moderated:

"This last week has been like a Herculean effort to do what should have been some routine maintenance on my Birdy.

First, needed to replace the rear rim, decided to let LBS do that which they did fine. Whilst the wheel was off, decided to take the opportunity to clean the cassette and rear derailleur (via partial dismantling). When I got the wheel back and put everything back together again as I tightened the bolt on the bell crank unit (which is a little box which goes on the end of the axle and where the hub gear cable goes into) it suddenly went loose and I couldn't tighten it. It seems I had stripped the threads, which, given I wasn't putting that much torque into it and I have done this before several times without incident, I suspect that
there was some corrosion responsible. The only option is to get a replacement bell crank unit, and in the meantime bodge a repair by cable-tying the current bell crank unit onto the axle.

OK, everything fine now until I try and put the chain back on, seemed to struggle a bit more than usual and there seemed to be chain suck upon back peddling. Tried putting some more lubricant into the derailleur
moving parts and checking the gears were correctly aligned, and left it until next morning when I was intending to use it to get to work. Set off next morning and about two miles down the road noticed the
drivetrain sounded rough and the chain suck issue was still there upon back pedalling although after a second or so would back pedal freely again. Decided to keep going and look at it sometime after I got to
work. Got about two miles from work then one of the jockey wheels came off (the bolt appeared to have unscrewed) which then caused the whole drivetrain to lock up. Had to walk and free-wheel the rest of the way.

Bugger, I had to get to Dorking that evening, and the nearest suitable public transport is five miles away. Couldn't get a lift from anyone so decided to bodge a repair by taking the rear derailleur off, shortening
the chain and wrapping it around a sprocket closest in line with the chainring. I know I am going to have problems with chain slackness but at least I'll have some drive. This worked but not very well, what
happens is that the general roughness of the road causes the chain to jump to a smaller sprocket, which makes it even more slack then it just skips. Managed to organize a lift from a friend (who was the reason I
was going to Dorking) from Ockley station (just under six miles away) so just had to get there. Thankfully it is mostly downhill and flat. I was able to cycle gently at around 10-12 mph on the flat but had to walk up
any incline. Managed to get to the station fine.

When I eventually got back home I took another look at the rear derailleur. Part of it seemed to be oriented 180 degrees out of phase. There is a little lump of metal on the derailleur which acts as a stop
for the arm (with the jockey wheels), somehow the arm had managed to end up on the wrong side of this stop. Managed to get it back in place and, after purchasing some new jockey wheels put it back together again.

Next task, replace the inner cable. Should be easy, just unclamp, then pull it out through the shifter. Unfortunately I forgot about clipping the end of the inner cable until it was to late so the inner cable got
stuck inside the outer cable and wouldn't budge. Had to remove both the outer and inner cable and buy a new outer cable as well. Unfortunately the cable I was sold was too short so had to go back to the LBS and swap it. Putting a new rear gear cable on a Birdy, if you have had to remove both cables, is a right pain in the arse as you have to thread the cable through a small hole in the frame, and try to persuade it to come out through another small hole nearly two feet away, whilst trying to avoid the other two cables running through the inside of the frame. Took me 20 minutes to do it last time. Got lucky this time, managed to get it through in under two minutes. All I have to do now is connect the inner cable. Found the inner cable I bought is too short, bugger this, I'm not cycling to the LBS again, I'm going to the nearby Halfords to get one. Finally got the inner cable installed now have to put the chain on so I can fine tune the gearing. Of course, the chain is too short because I shortened it and the extra links have fallen out through a hole in my panniers. Tried some links from another chain I had lying around but couldn't push the pin through, seems that pin thickness's can vary slightly. After a bit of searching did find an unused chain which is now on the bike so everything is now set up and ready to ride.

Now all I have to do is wait for the replacement bell clamp unit and a new shifter to arrive. What can possibly go wrong? ^_^"

I did manage to install the remaining parts without further problems.
 

Saddle bum

Über Member
Location
Kent
Once installed a Campagnolo Ergo brake lever with the band upside down. It has an arrow which should point upwards, (apparently). Result - It started to wobble and I could not undo the screw. Had to saw it off and buy a pair of new bands.

Fitted a pair of posh bottle cages upside down. I need help...........................
 
Top Bottom