Chloe, Tara and Rudy

[Crackle]

I noticed the big red car in my mirror as I idled into the car park, looking for a space. There was one big one left and I took that. The red car headed into the space opposite me. I suppose if I'd had my considerate head on, I'd have taken the smaller space and left the big one for the larger car but I wasn't really paying attention, I had no head on.

I got out and went to the tailgate. The red car had pulled back out the space and was about to go forward and reverse back in. The window came down. "Would you like to get past?" asked a slightly disembodied female voice, only a hint of a hat and a bobble was visible. "Thank you, no, you carry on" I said. I was waiting to let the dog out of the boot and was surprised she hadn't seen him. The spring which launches him out had gone off and more of his body was being pressed against the hatch. If I didn't open it soon, it would probably explode off it's fixings. "I decided to reverse in", she said by way of explanation, "too muddy to go in forwards". "Sorry", she said as she drove forward to my bumper before reversing back in straight.

The red car stopped moving and the engine went off and I relieved my hatch of it's straining force. As I walked past, the occupants of the red car tumbled out. "Chloe stop that. Tara, behave. Rudy, come here now. Chloe that's not very nice...." This gentle chiding went on but none of them were taking any notice. In fact they were doing what all Labradors do, colliding. A collision of three chocolate Labradors. Mine tried to join in but they were busy in their own habitual games. He even dropped his ball for them to pinch but his offer was ignored. "Come on girls, this way". I tacked back across the rear of the group, going elsewhere. I vaguely thought that Rudy was a boys name, perhaps he wasn't addressed, it was just Chloe and Tara acting up.

Mine looked after them and then at me for guidance. I nodded a direction, "that way" and he took off in front "Oy! Ball: Get the ball," I called. He spun on his heels and dashed through the trees to retrieve his offering and we left the chided collision of Labradors behind in the wind.

 

[Globalti]

A bloke walked into a butcher's shop with a dog on a lead.

"Oi!" said the butcher, "you can't bring that in here, can't you read the notice?"

"No I can't," replied the bloke, "I'm blind and this is my guide dog."

"That's not a guide dog!" retorted the butcher. "Guide dogs are usually labradors or retrievers!"

"Well.... what's this then?" asked the blind man.

"It's a dachshund!" laughed the butcher.

"Those lying barstewards at the Blind Centre.... they told me it was a labrador.....!"

 

[Crackle]

I know, the op is not so interesting.

Ok I'll tell you about the cyclist I gave way too before. Line of parked cars and he's already set off, coming towards me, parked cars on his side, so I waited for him to go past them. I could see him looking at me thinking, why is he waiting and I could see the bloke behind in my mirror wondering why I was waiting, I could just tell by the way he was trying to look around me to see if there was something he hadn't seen. Just to add to the pressure, another car had stopped at the other end, allowing me to come through as it was my priority.

I waited though because there was no room or there shouldn't have been if the cyclist had actually moved out the door zone, which he never did. He never took his eyes off me either, so he wouldn't have known if there was anyone in the cars about to get out anyway. Still my conscience is clear, even if I've left some puzzled folk in my wake.