Cold call responses

[jayonabike]

Them
"Have you had an accident blah blah"
Me
"Your f***ing telling me, have you ever tried snorting coke off the dash when going flat out up the M1?
It's tricky, that why I hit the ****'s. Do you think I'll be able to claim back the money for the Charlie I dropped? I think only 5 people died, lucky really as that truck weighs 40 tonnes."
Them
*click*

 

[classic33]

I bet they felt bad then!

Never had one that didn't continue the call when I've mentioned epilepsy preventing me from legally driving.

 

[roadrash]

I usually ask if they can claim for my amnesia, ooh yes of course we can, they say, I reply ....good because I don't remember the accident now feck off

 

[cyberknight]

I had a cold call this morning. The conversation went as followed. "Hi, I'm Emma from the accident helpline. I understand you've been in accident and it wasn't your fault." Me, "Yes, I have been in an accident however it was completely my fault. Goodbye." Then I hung up. What innovative responses have you given to cold callers?

Mrs ck "Yes i was its was fatal and im dead "

 

[Bazzer]

IME "And your source of that information is? always causes a the call to be terminated.

Slight thread highjack, but I can't help feeling hospital staff are a source for some of these callers. Every time I have had surgery in the last three years, there has been multiple calls shortly after I have returned home. In fact I spoke with the data guardian of Wythenshawe hospital because of the numbers of calls I received after my last surgery there.

 

[LonesomeWanderer]

Slight thread highjack, but I can't help feeling hospital staff are a source for some of these callers. Every time I have had surgery in the last three years, there has been multiple calls shortly after I have returned home. In fact I spoke with the data guardian of Wythenshawe hospital because of the numbers of calls I received after my last surgery there.

I wouldn't be surprised. The towing company contracted by Thames Valley Police seemed more interested in selling claims compensation than they did in removing a car from the fast lane the one time I've experienced them....

 

[subaqua]

I usually ask if they can claim for my amnesia, ooh yes of course we can, they say, I reply ....good because I don't remember the accident now feck off

Done this to extreme with one. Told them I think I had one as I have memory loss , long term and short term . 45 mins talking to them , gave nothing away but kept repeating myself and asking who they were what was this about .


At least it means they not annoying others

 

[swee'pea99]

I usually ask if they can claim for my amnesia, ooh yes of course we can, they say, I reply ....good because I don't remember the accident now feck off

Now that has real potential. "Can I claim for my amnesia?" "Ooh yes of course we can." "Can what?" "Claim for your amnesia." "Amnesia?" "Yes." "You have amnesia?" "Unh..." "Sorry, who's speaking?" etc etc

(Sorry, just noticed sub's been there done that. Still, definitely a winner.)

 

[Markymark]

I usually try and sell anyone who calls my printing services.

 

[jefmcg]

I once got a text "if you have had an accident, please reply with the word 'yes'" On a whim, I did. The phone rang a few seconds later and a woman said
"I'm calling from <something> claims company about your accident".
I replied "Sorry, what was the name of your company?"
She immediately hung up!

 

[LonesomeWanderer]

I usually try and sell anyone who calls my printing services.

Makes you wonder what would happen if they accidentally call up another telemarketer - do they keep trying to sell stuff to each other?

 

[jefmcg]

I tend to get "upset" and wonder why they keep calling me as I can't drive due to being a quadriplwgic/epileptic/whatever I come up with in the day that would preclude me from driving

I bet they felt bad then!

These people call up strangers and lie to them for a living. And they do this to find people who have been injured in an accident so they can exploit them for money. The worse the injury, the more money they will make. What makes you think that they are suddenly going to develop a conscience?

Also, people who can't drive can get in accidents.

 

[Drago]

Makes you wonder what would happen if they accidentally call up another telemarketer - do they keep trying to sell stuff to each other?

Recalls to mind a job a went to as a young copper. A burly mechanic had a bad stammer. That day the garage called in a specialist to do a windscreen, and he also had a bad stammer. Each though the other was extracting the urine and they had the most almighty fight.

As for marketers, they'd just get into a feedback loop until one of them eventually explodes.

 

[graham bowers]

I tell them there was no accident, so suggest we talk about something else - ask about their breakfast, then holidays if they haven't hung up by then.

 

[Drago]

Anyone tried chatting them up?