Commuting in a short dress - Recommended!

[Angelfishsolo]

not my area of expertise I'm afraid.

The question was withdrawn m'lord

 

[Rohloff_Brompton_Rider]

Very fair.....way off dealing with ignoramus!!

ftfy..

 

[Becs]

I wish there was a quick solution to the problem you face. I don't believe there is. I in no way condone harassment of any kind towards Ladies. However, I have witnessed the way packs of young girls behave on nights out and TBH they put males to shame. They re-enforce the "slut" stereotype in a shameful way as much as a group of lads trying to "cop a feel" re-enforces the lechery of all males.

To answer this is a long post but in short and this is why I challenge Bec's views.

I would just like to point out that my classy V neck/wrap around dresses are a far cry from slutty! Tits or legs, never both

 

[theclaud]

A very good post indeed. I base my advice on looking after my younger Sister when she started going out (Not that I did a great job of it )

My posts were based on the ideas put forward that attention of males is in the main unwanted. Of course a Lady/Woman/Girl can go out and look to get laid by whomever she chooses, just as a man can. Everyone should be free to choose how they wish to behave.

Your point about suppressed hostility is well noted as is your point about "if you know what to look for".

I did not mean to conflate male sexual desire with intent to do harm and for that I apologise.

What I sort of mean is that people are looking in the wrong place for the harm. Men introducing themselves by offering to buy women drinks is a cliche, and sometimes it's a sexist cliche, but let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater - it's also a convention that enables sex, stands in symbolically for it, and simultaneously keeps it at a distance. It might be unimaginative, but there's nothing inherently dishonest about it. It's interesting what happens if you deliberately disrupt the convention, for example by making it explicit that it is about sex and not about gin & tonic - you might do so because you are pretty much set for the best sex of your life and don't want to beat about the bush (no pun intended), because you feel someone is hiding behind the convention in order to continuing pestering you with unwanted attention, or because you are genuinely unsure what he wants. It reveals a lot - but I've never heard any of these concerned paternalists advise young women to say "Well I'd love a g&t and a bit of a chat but I'm not going to f**k you, if that's what you're asking," or "Let's skip the formalities and find somewhere quieter". And I would contend that it's because their advice is not usually about empowering women.

 

[Angelfishsolo]

I would just like to point out that my classy V neck/wrap around dresses are a far cry from slutty! Tits or legs, never both

Oh you are of of those girls are you

 

[ttcycle]

wrap arounds, way to go sister. lol- is that close enough to Gwok for you?

 

[Becs]

wrap arounds, way to go sister. lol- is that close enough to Gwok for you?

Love it! I know how to work my hour-glass!

 

[ttcycle]

What I sort of mean is that people are looking in the wrong place for the harm. Men introducing themselves by offering to buy women drinks is a cliche, and sometimes it's a sexist cliche, but let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater - it's also a convention that enables sex, stands in symbolically for it, and simultaneously keeps it at a distance. It might be unimaginative, but there's nothing inherently dishonest about it. It's interesting what happens if you deliberately disrupt the convention, for example by making it explicit that it is about sex and not about gin & tonic - you might do so because you are pretty much set for the best sex of your life and don't want to beat about the bush (no pun intended), because you feel someone is hiding behind the convention in order to continuing pestering you with unwanted attention, or because you are genuinely unsure what he wants. It reveals a lot - but I've never heard any of these concerned paternalists advise young women to say "Well I'd love a g&t and a bit of a chat but I'm not going to f**k you, if that's what you're asking," or "Let's skip the formalities and find somewhere quieter". And I would contend that it's because their advice is not usually about empowering women.

Yes, I think this is really important. What I'm talking about is more honesty and less fear about this.
When I mention lets be more respectful to each other and think about posts, it's kind of in the hope that it opens up more space for what TC describes to become realities, it's not about chastising and removing sexual beings in the world.

 

[Angelfishsolo]

What I sort of mean is that people are looking in the wrong place for the harm. Men introducing themselves by offering to buy women drinks is a cliche, and sometimes it's a sexist cliche, but let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater - it's also a convention that enables sex, stands in symbolically for it, and simultaneously keeps it at a distance. It might be unimaginative, but there's nothing inherently dishonest about it. It's interesting what happens if you deliberately disrupt the convention, for example by making it explicit that it is about sex and not about gin & tonic - you might do so because you are pretty much set for the best sex of your life and don't want to beat about the bush (no pun intended), because you feel someone is hiding behind the convention in order to continuing pestering you with unwanted attention, or because you are genuinely unsure what he wants. It reveals a lot - but I've never heard any of these concerned paternalists advise young women to say "Well I'd love a g&t and a bit of a chat but I'm not going to f**k you, if that's what you're asking," or "Let's skip the formalities and find somewhere quieter". And I would contend that it's because their advice is not usually about empowering women.

Apart from the G&T I have experienced both

I do see what you are saying however and I wonder if this type of empowerment will come from the next generation of parents? It is good advice. I know many people who are happy to let there under-age sons/daughters have sex in there homes as it is safer than the alternative.

 

[ttcycle]

as i posted before, chapeau to you (and the suffragettes). good causes require 'fighters for the cause', after 21 years, the fight is getting easier to conquer, although more tiring....lol.

mind you my daughter, who is slimmer (is slighter more pc?) has the same fight as you, which i find as a proud father, amazing. as a realist, frustrating.

go girl, as my women will say.

Cheers, thank you.

 

[Rohloff_Brompton_Rider]

your welcome and thank you for not picking me me up on my "my women" faux pas, it seemed funny at the time of writing, but i am a dinosaur learning new tricks!!

 

[dellzeqq]

Fear is a biological response. The act of rejection causes a biological response. The fear of rejection stems from out brains telling us we are not good enough for that person. Thus to my mind it is biological.

whether or not this is true (and I've no way of knowing) the great thing about civilisation is that it equips us to make choices and even to put the supposedly hormonal behaviour on hold for a nanosecond while we consider matters.

(trans) leering is a choice

 

[Angelfishsolo]

whether or not this is true (and I've no way of knowing) the great thing about civilisation is that it equips us to make choices and even to put the supposedly hormonal behaviour on hold for a nanosecond while we consider matters.

(trans) leering is a choice

I do not believe that I put forward a case for leering being a primal instinct. Also when I witness some of the male members of the species that live in my area I wonder if it is possible to use the term civilisation in any way, shape or form.

 

[Dan B]

not my area of expertise I'm afraid.

You say that like it prevents you in some way from replying. Which is laudable and all, but puts you at grave disadvantage on internet forms

 

[theclaud]

I do see what you are saying however and I wonder if this type of empowerment will come from the next generation of parents? It is good advice. I know many people who are happy to let there under-age sons/daughters have sex in there homes as it is safer than the alternative.

Maybe it is and maybe it isn't. All I know is that it's advice that acknowledges that women might have some idea about what they want, and that men are human beings who are quite capable of understanding this. That and the fact that it's a rare sort of advice compared to the depressing "Don't accept drinks from men in bars - they are only after one thing" kind.