Conversations with non-cyclists

[XmisterIS]

Me: "I think I'd do one of my fun-runs today, 20 mile blast just to get the blood flowing".

Him: "Mrrrrrp"

Me: "Of course, you can't cycle, can you?"

Him: "Mrrrow?"

Me: "Ha ha!"

Him: "Mmmmpr *"

Me: "Would you like some tuna?"

Him: "Meeeeeowww!"

 

[Mr Phoebus]

Him...'ooh its a lovely bike, how much did it cost ?'
Me....'about £650'
Him...'but you can buy a car for that kind of money '

And then you tell them to even more incredulity..that £650 is really entry level pricing...you can spend an awful lot more'

I've had that line too. I replied... Yeah, that's before the petrol, car tax, insurance, servicing and MOT, parking fees, etc.

 

[Mr Phoebus]

Her: Have you had far to come?

Me: Only 5 miles from Marston Green.

Her: Oh my, you've cycled all the way from over there.

 

[GrasB]

Me (to other half): I'll probably be going via Papworth so I'll be latter than normal
OH: okay so by 7 then?
Me: Sure
Random person: Sure must be nice to have your wife look after you
OH:
Me: I'm talking about my commute home
Random person: but Papworths 10 miles away, that'll take hours to get there & it's almost 3:30pm already!
Me: more like half an hour if I go direct
Random person: IMPOSSIBLE!
Me & OH:

 

[Crackle]

-Is that your bike?
Yeah
-Wow, that's a serious bike.
Well, kinda of
-How much?
£750
-WHAT! My goodness. Is that like a Tour De France bike?
No, they cost about £6000 or more and are quite different to mine
-£6000! For a bit of metal and some wheels
Well, they're not normally metal
-So how far have you ridden on it.
Well this year not much, a few hundred miles last month
-A few hundred!
........................................

 

[byegad]

I've had that line too. I replied... Yeah, that's before the petrol, car tax, insurance, servicing and MOT, parking fees, etc.

My car, which is costing me an arm and a leg each month in Hire Purchase payments until next January, costs more than £650 a year to sit on the front doing nothing. If I add in the monthly payments but exclude petrol I could buy a decently equipped high end recumbent trike every year on what it costs me.

Why do I keep it???

 

[Globalti]

Factory lad in changing rooms: "You live in Blackburn don't you?"

Self : "Yup"

FL: "How far is that then?"

Self: "Only 21 miles"

FL: "Fookin' 'ell!! And you rode all the way?"

 

[Globalti]

My car, which is costing me an arm and a leg each month in Hire Purchase payments until next January, costs more than £650 a year to sit on the front doing nothing. If I add in the monthly payments but exclude petrol I could buy a decently equipped high end recumbent trike every year on what it costs me.

Why do I keep it???

We had a lovely 1986 Land Rover 90, ex-RAF, which was sitting on the drive doing nothing so in the end with heavy hearts we sold it and turned it into a new condensing boiler, which is saving us money rather than wasting it.

The horror of it was that the bloke who bought it was a crap driver with zero mechanical sympathy and no interest in the vehicle, he just wanted something to run into the ground on his Welsh smallholding. How we miss our old Landy.

 

[Bman]

Colleague 1: How much did your bike cost you?
Me: £700
Colleagues: Bloody hell!
Me: Its not that much actually, Its an entry level Road bike. The Tour de France bikes cost...... <interupted>
Colleague 2: You could get a car for that.
Me: But then I would have to insure it That would cost me a grand extra.
Colleagues: <silence>



I cycle past Colleague 1's house on the way to work

 

[Mr Phoebus]

You haven't got a helmet... Won't you get arrested?

 

[snorri]

I find it amusing when people ask about a summer cycle tour. I could say that I had cycled from Rotterdam to Bratislava and they are interested, but there is disbelief when you also say you cycled the 200 miles between the UK ferry terminal and home, that last bit really impresses them.

 

[Friz]

Me walking into work any Monday morning: G'morning.

Any random non-cycling workmate: Shut up about the feckin bike.

 

[palinurus]

I've got a riding to the ferry story too. Rode to Portsmouth (from Watford) to get ferry, get pretty close and get confused at roundabout, can't be arsed to dig out map. Ask non-cyclist if this road takes me to Portsmouth. "Yes", she says, and adding, with considerable concern, "but it's a long way".

 

[Norm]

Her: Have you had far to come?

Me: Only 5 miles from Marston Green.

Her: Oh my, you've cycled all the way from over there.

This is the bit which worries me whenever I hear it, which is far too often.

For instance, I cycled to Windsor last weekend. It's only about 10 miles but, chatting to someone in one of the shops, you'd think it was a LEJoG. He said that he tried cycling to work once, a 2.5 mile trip for him, and it was so painful that he'd never ride so far again. This guy was in his 20s but thought 15 minutes of gentle cycling was too much for him.

The worst bit is that Eton Bridge being closed to motorised traffic means Slough to Windsor by bike is quicker than by car and he'd be saving about £7 a day in parking too, but there was still no way that he'd cycle again.

 

[chillyuk]

Me walking into work any Monday morning: G'morning.

Any random non-cycling workmate: Shut up about the feckin bike.

Priceless, love it!!

I have used a similar line though with the football morons.