Corporate lies.

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Globalti

Legendary Member
I had the unfortunate experience of flying Sleazyjet from Paphos back to Manchester on Thursday. Because I didn't pre-print my boarding card I was put on standby and made to sweat for an hour before they graciously allowed me to board their poxy plane. I had paid for a ticket and turned up in plenty of time and all the agent had to do after labelling my case was press P to print a boarding card. They had a seat on the plane and I had a ticket; they just wanted to punish me.

While I sat fuming I got to think about all the other lies we get from big corporations:

"We will shortly be passing through the cabin with a selection of duty-free goods. Don't assume your choice will be available on the return flight because we don't re-stock at the destination airport."

"7 other people are looking at this flight now."

"Only one remaining at this price."

"For operational reasons the (poxy Northern Fail pacer) 08.00 service to Clitheroe has been cancelled." (Means driver still asleep in bed)

"Sorry for the delay, which is caused by the need for safety checks." (Impossible to ascertain the truth of this one)

"Due to trespassers on the line the service to X has been delayed"

There are loads of other excuses and lies in the Big Book of Corporate lies. Anyone else got any examples?
 

Drago

Legendary Member
A Mars a day helps you work, rest and play.

I guess a Mars a day helps your teeth rot away doesn't sou d so appealing.
 

Drago

Legendary Member
We are spending billions of pounds on the NHS so service should improve.
That's not a lie, it really should. Mrs D only lasted a few months working for the NHS before the insanity of it forced her to quit. Managers managing managers managing managers, managing supervisors, managing one or two people at the bottom, virtually no one doing anything useful. Tier after tier of unproductive, useless, expensive wastage.

More money could be spent on something useful. That the creaking, tottering bureaucracy of the NHS doesn't is a different matter entirely.
 
OP
OP
Globalti

Globalti

Legendary Member
On that point, my BIL was the CEO of an NHS hospital in Wiltshire until about 18 months ago. When he retired the hospital's finances were in the black. His successor appointed management consultants and within six months the hospital was in the red by several million pounds.
 

Andy_R

Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
Location
County Durham
On that point, my BIL was the CEO of an NHS hospital in Wiltshire until about 18 months ago. When he retired the hospital's finances were in the black. His successor appointed management consultants and within six months the hospital was in the red by several million pounds.
Probably to the tune of how much the consultants charged...
 
That's not a lie, it really should. Mrs D only lasted a few months working for the NHS before the insanity of it forced her to quit. Managers managing managers managing managers, managing supervisors, managing one or two people at the bottom, virtually no one doing anything useful. Tier after tier of unproductive, useless, expensive wastage.

More money could be spent on something useful. That the creaking, tottering bureaucracy of the NHS doesn't is a different matter entirely.
My mum used to say that back in the 60' when she worked in a hospital kitchen .
 
That's not a lie, it really should. Mrs D only lasted a few months working for the NHS before the insanity of it forced her to quit. Managers managing managers managing managers, managing supervisors, managing one or two people at the bottom, virtually no one doing anything useful. Tier after tier of unproductive, useless, expensive wastage.

More money could be spent on something useful. That the creaking, tottering bureaucracy of the NHS doesn't is a different matter entirely.
Not forgetting the fact that every time they “reorganise” all those managers are made redundant, paid off, and then re-employed by the new organisation 🤬
 

Drago

Legendary Member
Right, one fib I can't stand.

Philip Schofield (who I also can't stand) in the ads for We Buy Any Car. He makes it sound that if you sell your car privately Atilla the Hun will come round your house and sheet through your letter box, your dog will run off with the milk man, and the police will shoot you next time you get on the tube, and that's their justification for selling it to them for pittance.

The reality is that you are likely to get between a third and half as much again if you sell it yourself, and you won't have to fight the urge to punch Philip Schofield in the plums.
 

Salty seadog

Space Cadet...(3rd Class...)
Right, one fib I can't stand.

Philip Schofield (who I also can't stand) in the ads for We Buy Any Car. He makes it sound that if you sell your car privately Atilla the Hun will come round your house and sheet through your letter box, your dog will run off with the milk man, and the police will shoot you next time you get on the tube, and that's their justification for selling it to them for pittance.

The reality is that you are likely to get between a third and half as much again if you sell it yourself, and you won't have to fight the urge to punch Philip Schofield in the plums.

This can't be true. Phil would never fib to me.
 
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