Culinary mishaps

[TheDoctor]

When I was a sprog I always used a milk bottle for rolling out - one of the taller sort, rather that the squat ones you get now. A carton would be rubbish, though.
Glasses are ace for cutting dough. I usually use a knife and make square scones. The canteen at my last place made hexagonal ones. Either way, you don't end up re-rolling the offcuts repeatedly.

 

[Andy in Sig]

Christ knows but it's not one of my favourites. Essentially a braising scenario on the stove...

Er ... I'm not being deliberately obtuse but just what is braising? I've eaten braised meat and enjoyed but it's never occurred to me before to find out what the process is.

 

[Speicher]

More of a restaurant mishap really. Some years ago, a friend and I were in a restaurant, and candles had been placed in tall candle holders.

I really do not know how it happened, but one of those paper serviette thingies caught light on one of the candles. Full of bright ideas, the person I was with decided to douse the flames with water. Unfortunately, when he hastily poured the jug of water over the flames, all that did was to tip over the candle, which set fire to the, still dry, table cloth, and burning bits of serviette thingy went all over the floor.

It did not help that this was in a wooden hut at the end of a "pier" near a lake in Norway.

 

[Kirstie]

Braising is where you brown the meat in the pan, add liquid/herbs/spices etc, put the pan lid tightly on and cook it slowly over a number of hours. It's good for tougher cuts of meat as it makes them more tender.

 

[Arch]

Er ... I'm not being deliberately obtuse but just what is braising? I've eaten braised meat and enjoyed but it's never occurred to me before to find out what the process is.

I understand braising to be a sort of slow cooking in liquid. Not sure of the difference between that and stewing - I know there's stewing steak and braising steak and one is better than the other (IE, less tough and therofre needs longer slower cooking), but I can't remember which is which.

 

[Andy in Sig]

It would appear that I have unwittingly braised in the past!

 

[Arch]

When I was a sprog I always used a milk bottle for rolling out - one of the taller sort, rather that the squat ones you get now. A carton would be rubbish, though.
Glasses are ace for cutting dough. I usually use a knife and make square scones. The canteen at my last place made hexagonal ones. Either way, you don't end up re-rolling the offcuts repeatedly.

Absolutely. Re-rolled offcuts always eventually go grey. I remember as a kid, my Mum giving me the noggins of pasty when she made a pie, for me to make a little jam turnover thing, and it was always rolled and re-rolled to death, and a sort of grey colour...

One of my Mum's specialities for a few years running was reheating-the-leftover-Christmas-pudding-for-after-lunch-on-boxing-day-and-letting-it-boil-dry-thus-sticking-the-plastic-tub-to-the-saucepan-irrevocably. It was a relief when we got a microwave. Funny, she never did it on Christmas day, only ever with the leftovers on Boxing Day.

 

[TheDoctor]

reheating-the-leftover-Christmas-pudding-for-after-lunch -on-boxing-day-and-letting-it-boil-dry-thus-sticking-the-plastic-tub-to-the- saucepan-irrevocably.

*pauses for breath*

I'll see your 'tub stuck to pan' and raise you a 'Leave it longer and the pan welds itself irrevocably to a ceramic hob'.

To be fair, I did get the pan off, but it had a large chunk of hob attached. I had to chip it off with a chisel. Oh, and get a new hob.

 

[Arch]

*pauses for breath*

I'll see your 'tub stuck to pan' and raise you a 'Leave it longer and the pan welds itself irrevocably to a ceramic hob'.

To be fair, I did get the pan off, but it had a large chunk of hob attached. I had to chip it off with a chisel. Oh, and get a new hob.

That is a stunning mishap! I wil tell my Mum, it will make her feel better about losing a couple of saucepans...

 

[TheDoctor]

In a similar vein, I have a fantastic recipe for flambed bananas. Melt butter and demarera (sp?) sugar in frying pan, add bananas sliced lengthways, frazz for a minute or two till bananas coated in sticky toffee goodness, add slosh of dark rum, ignite and serve.

DO NOT try making this when drunk. I nearly set my hair on fire. My splosh had turned into about half a pint.

Tasted good though. The only desert that can give you a hangover...

 

[Speicher]

When making home made sponges - advice to beginners. Remember to remove the greaseproof paper when assembling the cake.

Once it is on the plate in front of your guests, the cake will be difficult to cut. You will be able to turn the cake upside down to remove the layer of paper on the bottom. But once the paper in the middle has been coated with cream for any length of time, its strength and resistence to cutting increases, and even the sharpest knife is not sufficient. You will have to demolish and reassemble the cake.

 

[red_tom]

My eldest brother was responsible for packing the food for a race meeting at Lydden. It involved an overnight stay in the paddock in our trusty camper van.

Rising early the next day, we started a brew and a fragrant but un tea like smells started eminating from the pot. He'd packed boquet garni instead of teabags...

 

[TheDoctor]

Oh deary me. That must have been kind of embarrassing.
Mind you, had you managed to cut through the paper, your guests would have had a chewy surprise!

 

[TheDoctor]

My eldest brother was responsible for packing the food for a race meeting at Lydden. It involved an overnight stay in the paddock in our trusty camper van.

Rising early the next day, we started a brew and a fragrant but un tea like smells started eminating from the pot. He'd packed boquet garni instead of teabags...

Now that is funny! Possibly not at the time, but I defy anyone to read this and not laugh!

 

[Arch]

When making home made sponges - advice to beginners. Remember to remove the greaseproof paper when assembling the cake.

Once it is on the plate in front of your guests, the cake will be difficult to cut. You will be able to turn the cake upside down to remove the layer of paper on the bottom. But once the paper in the middle has been coated with cream for any length of time, its strength and resistence to cutting increases, and even the sharpest knife is not sufficient. You will have to demolish and reassemble the cake.

That reminds me, you know how you get these little family rituals that make no sense to anyone outside? It was my Dad's view that the first ingredient you needed to make a sponge cake was a pencil. Why? Well, to draw round the tin to make the circle of greaseproof to cut out of course. Being a methodical type, he didn't want to get to the lining the tin stage and realise that he didn't have the paper ready, and had to go hunting for a pencil with greasy or eggy or floury hands...

As a consequence, my sister and I can't start to make a sponge cake without finding a pencil...