Customer 'service' rant #93 .....

[Globalti]

Just as irritating are the restaurant greeters who ask: "Have you booked?" then make a big thing of finding you a table but then the restaurant stays empty all evening.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

Just as irritating are the restaurant greeters who ask: "Have you booked?" then make a big thing of finding you a table but then the restaurant stays empty all evening.

In cph we noted a tendency to take the view that "we've made enough money today/tonight" when trying to get an unbooked table in half-empty restaurants. Four of us, rocking up one rainy Sunday lunchtime at "The Standard" at 13:15 to find it miraculously half empty I enquired as to the possibility of dining there. "Have you a reservation?" barked the Danish ice maiden on meet'n'disembowel duty. "No, but..." I replied looking around. "It is not good for you." she said "The kitchen closes at three o'clock" and turning on the flat sole of her hideous pumps, off she strode.

"Was that a no, do you think?" asked my friend.

I swear, until you've had poor a customer service dining experience cph-stylee you've not had poor customer service!

 

[Profpointy]

Cafe in camden. Ordered a fry up and an espresso and the lady says "the breakfast comes with americano" but before I could even roll my eyes never mind harumphing and say "hang the expense I'll pay the extra" she said "oh, that's silly isn't it" and got me my espresso. A fine breakfast it was too for a princely fiver including the coffee, and they say that there London is expensive. A plug for the Workshop Cafe, Mandela St Camden !

 

[Globalti]

Restaurant managers don't want to welcome people who don't fit with their idea of the ideal customer so they will use all the tricks to discourage you. When I got my first job I felt rich so invited a pal and his then GF out to dinner; she was spectacularly ugly and ill-dressed. I mean she had a face like a camel and manners like one too. We strolled into a posh Italian restaurant in north London and to my regret I allowed the staff to tell us they were fully booked then to usher us upstairs to the banqueting room where they ignored us all evening, claiming, when I complained, that the gas rings had broken down. When we came downstairs the restaurant was still empty.

More recently I went to the ultra-chic Lowry Hotel in Manchester with my wife, my then small son and a very overweight business associate and his sixties style wife. The restaurant was empty but the young woman greeter asked: "Have you booked?" then, showing the empty bookings ledger to the manager, said: "....only we're fully booked tonight!" with more than a hint of meaning in her tone. Despite this we decided to sit down and the restaurant remained empty all evening.

On another occasion I visited the snooty Freemason's Arms near Clitheroe with a Nigerian visitor. The landlady looked down her nose at us and told us she was full, whereupon her husband quickly corrected her: "Oh no we're not... we've got that table over there!" and we were duly seated. I don't mind mentioning these places because these incidents really happened and I hope somebody finds this post in a web search. That kind of attitude is unforgiveable.

 

[Starchivore]

Restaurant managers don't want to welcome people who don't fit with their idea of the ideal customer so they will use all the tricks to discourage you. .......

That last incident is particularly upsetting, with you having a guest from abroad visiting and wanting them to have some a nice northern welcome somewhere.

 

[Deleted member 26715]

That last incident is particularly upsetting, with you having a guest from abroad visiting and wanting them to have some a nice northern welcome somewhere.

Aye but he did say Clitheroe you know what that lot are like over tother side ot 'ill

 

[HertzvanRental]

somewhere there is a description of a cricket match that I found hilarious at the time but cant remember which book

I think it was "Down Under".

 

[Starchivore]

Aye but he did say Clitheroe you know what that lot are like over tother side ot 'ill

I went to uni in Lancaster and I'll have you know they're a jolly nice lot!

 

[classic33]

I went to uni in Lancaster and I'll have you know they're a jolly nice lot!

You're borderline anyway!

 

[AndyRM]

somewhere there is a description of a cricket match that I found hilarious at the time but cant remember which book

Here you go: http://www.wandererscricket.com/Yank_view.html

 

[postman]

Today i got thanked for buying a second cup of coffee.I explained i should have been in Skipton drinking coffee but i did not feel well.So i was spending the money with them rather than the shop in Skipton.

 

[swee'pea99]

Aye but he did say Clitheroe you know what that lot are like over tother side ot 'ill

Try the legendarily friendly Cornish...my sis, on a train down west, once asked the passing guard what time the train got to Plymouth. "So, you think this train's going to Plymouth do you?" he said, in a disdainful full-bore oo-ar, then carried on walking down the train.

 

[Markymark]

I'm confused, it's a restaurant and you walked to the counter. You may well think you were next but there were probably tables ahead of you waiting to order and you would effectively be pushing in.

 

[Ashness]

Here you go: http://www.wandererscricket.com/Yank_view.html

 

[NorthernDave]

Took DD#2 to Heathrow for her flight to Japan. Left home at 0530. All sorted by 0700 so decided to buy her a coffee and cake before she went through security. Been all a bit stressy up to then. Walked into the Cafe Rouge area and up to the counter to look at the pain au raisins etc on display. No queue or anybody else waiting or around.
Whilst cogitating in my sleepy daze I could hear a voice wittering beside me as I stirred my brain cell.
'Hang on a minute' I said 'I'm just thinking
Then was told again by the voice that it was table service
'OK, but please give me a minute'
More wittering about table first if I want to order
'If you keep going-on I'll go elsewhere ....'
She keeps wittering about table regardless and DD#2 shouts that we have to sit down first. So I find a table and sit down only to be told by the voice that I couldn't sit there ....
I walked.
Bollocked by DD#2 for causing a scene.

Cafe Nero was great.

Small beer I know, but all I wanted was a minute just to look, I new what I wanted, the voice was there and could easily taken my order whilst I stood, I should have been able to sit at a table of my choice. I've only ever eaten in Cafe Rouge once and they won't be seeing the inside of my wallet again. Quite possibly the worst customer service I've ever encountered in an eatery.

My money, I get to choose ... or my feet, I get to walk.

You did right. Don't ever think otherwise.

I haven't read any of his books but have nearly got one several times at charity shops. Are they worth a read? I'm not one for endless descriptions of places-type travel books. I liked that excerpt.

I enjoyed "A walk in the woods" which was based on his story of walking the Appalachian trail with a friend- did you see that? I'd recommend it, very very funny.

The Bryson tale in 'Down Under' about getting lost wandering in the suburbs, then chased by a dog never fails to crack me up.

And, to end with my two pen'north, I've just spent TWENTY minutes listening to muzak / announcements about how important my call is, trying to get through to Worst Transpennine Express to buy some tickets... Needless to say they've lost the business and I'm going to wander down to the station tomorrow and buy them in person, hopefully building a big queue up behind me while I do.