Customer 'service' rant #93 .....

[Fab Foodie]

FF. You weren't wearing "that hat" were you!!
Would explain a lot!

Not on your nelly .... you never know who you might meet at Heathrow!

 

[bruce1530]

My favourite “worst customer service” story - was at a local supermarket (Morrisons)

We had bought one of their rotisserie chickens one evening. Got it home, cut it open, and it was uncooked inside. Lots of red blood visible. We chucked it in the bin, and didn’t think any more of it.

But a couple of days later, I was back in the same shop. I thought I should mention it, in case there was some problem and they weren’t aware that they had been selling undercooked chicken.


I mentioned at the deli counter that I had bought a chicken a few days earlier, and it was undercooked - still bloody.
“You’ll need to speak to the manager”
“I don’t really want to speak to the manager. I just want you to know that you were selling undercooked chicken, to ensure that it doesn’t happen again”
“You’ll need to speak to the manager”

Manager is paged. Doesn’t appear.
10 minutes and 2 tannoy calls later, he appears.

“Is there a problem?” he asks
“I just wanted to let you know that I bought a chicken a couple of days ago, and it was raw inside. All bloody. I just wanted to let you know to make sure that nobody else bought one like that”
“Do you have the chicken with you?”
“No, we chucked it out on Saturday night”.
“I can’t give you a refund without seeing the chicken”
“I wasn’t looking for a refund. I just wanted you to know that you were selling raw chicken. The blood was running out of it”.
“You should have phoned us on Saturday...... do you still have your receipt?”
“What does it matter if I do or if I don’t? Are you trying to suggest that you didn’t sell me the undercooked chicken?”
“I can’t give you a refund without the receipt”
“I’m not looking for a refund. I just want you to know, and acknowledge, that you sold an undercooked chicken. It was all blood inside. Eating undercooked chicken can be dangerous.”

At that point he beckoned to the security guard.

“If you use language like that again, Sir, I’ll have to have you removed from the store. I’m not prepared to tolerate people swearing at me”
“I didn’t swear at you. I have been perfectly calm and polite.”
“Yes you did swear. You said ‘Bloody chicken’ "

At this point, the security guard was struggling to keep a straight face.

Anyway - the security guard didn’t throw me out, I got a refund; I complained and got an apology and voucher from head office. And I’m sure everyone in the store knows the story about that manager and the “Bloody Chicken” - it was in the local paper a few weeks later!

 

[subaqua]

You did right. Don't ever think otherwise.



The Bryson tale in 'Down Under' about getting lost wandering in the suburbs, then chased by a dog never fails to crack me up.

And, to end with my two pen'north, I've just spent TWENTY minutes listening to muzak / announcements about how important my call is, trying to get through to Worst Transpennine Express to buy some tickets... Needless to say they've lost the business and I'm going to wander down to the station tomorrow and buy them in person, hopefully building a big queue up behind me while I do.

do it online. collect at machine on day of travel. no more lost/forgotten tickets ever . unless you only do cash of course

 

[Pat "5mph"]

How about an establishment which does not take reservations?

One of my colleagues was leaving and a big group of us were going out on his do. He wanted pizza/pasta. We were told to turn up and wait to see if they find space for our party ...

Some restaurants, especially the smaller ones, don't take bookings at busy times, because usually a smaller number of people than the number booked turn up, so the restaurant might miss out. Also, it saves on the time the seats are empty between bookings, much more efficient to have customers constantly in and out.
Sometimes you could be told that a table is available, but only for an hour or so, because it's booked for later, if you don't agree, they lose your custom.

“Yes you did swear. You said ‘Bloody chicken’ "

 

[mybike]

Cafes always confuse me because they all seem to have different rules: some you need to go to the counter, others it's table service, others it's table service but you need to pay at the till etc.

I've just started frequenting a new cafe in Welling (I hate Costa et al and this place does great coffee). They have a menu that says place your order at the counter but every time I stand up they tell me to sit down. I'm forgiving them for now because I want them to survive.

Whereabouts? I used to live in Welling, must be ~40 years ago.

 

[ColinJ]

Some restaurants, especially the smaller ones, don't take bookings at busy times, because usually a smaller number of people than the number booked turn up, so the restaurant might miss out. Also, it saves on the time the seats are empty between bookings, much more efficient to have customers constantly in and out.
Sometimes you could be told that a table is available, but only for an hour or so, because it's booked for later, if you don't agree, they lose your custom.

Ok, I can see that argument. I think the answer to that would be to take an unrefundable deposit. If you don't turn up for any reason, they can keep your money.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Ok, I can see that argument. I think the answer to that would be to take an unrefundable deposit. If you don't turn up for any reason, they can keep your money.

The deposit won't make up for the lost revenue on a Saturday night.

 

[ColinJ]

The deposit won't make up for the lost revenue on a Saturday night.

Terms: Full, non-refundable payment in advance!

In our case, it was a mid-week early evening meal.

 

[tyred]

A good few years ago, my then girlfriend and I knocked on the door of a B&B which was promptly opened by a real-life Hyacinth Bucket. We had been hill walking for most of the day and possibly didn't look too presentable and I instantly sensed she was looking down her nose at us and glancing from from one to the other to my ancient Golf which was sitting in the driveway. I enquired if we could have a room for the night. Yes, she did have a room. It was a superior B&B which was reflected in the price she said. Would we like to see it? We had to take our shoes off to do so. We were shown to a fairly ordinary bedroom. But again she repeated the superior B&B line and pointing out the window to my car she said that she could offer somewhere to park that "thing." I had already made up my mind that she was a stuck-up cow and that I wasn't staying where I wasn't wanted when she started going on about the fine Edwardian building and that it was unique. I pointed out that every house in the entire was pretty much identical. I poked and prodded at the decaying window frame and suggested it could be a nice house with some maintenance.

We ended up staying in another B&B about four doors further up the street for about 2/3 the cost and got treated like humans rather than as something the cat dragged in.

 

[slowmotion]

A good few years ago, my then girlfriend and I knocked on the door of a B&B which was promptly opened by a real-life Hyacinth Bucket. We had been hill walking for most of the day and possibly didn't look too presentable and I instantly sensed she was looking down her nose at us and glancing from from one to the other to my ancient Golf which was sitting in the driveway. I enquired if we could have a room for the night. Yes, she did have a room. It was a superior B&B which was reflected in the price she said. Would we like to see it? We had to take our shoes off to do so. We were shown to a fairly ordinary bedroom. But again she repeated the superior B&B line and pointing out the window to my car she said that she could offer somewhere to park that "thing." I had already made up my mind that she was a stuck-up cow and that I wasn't staying where I wasn't wanted when she started going on about the fine Edwardian building and that it was unique. I pointed out that every house in the entire was pretty much identical. I poked and prodded at the decaying window frame and suggested it could be a nice house with some maintenance.

We ended up staying in another B&B about four doors further up the street for about 2/3 the cost and got treated like humans rather than as something the cat dragged in.

Did the first B&B have one of those clear PVC "carpet protectors" in the hall? They really are a giveaway.

 

[tyred]

Did the first B&B have one of those clear PVC "carpet protectors" in the hall? They really are a giveaway.

Yes but I was young and naive at the time.

 

[slowmotion]

Watch out for the cloying smell of "room fresheners" too....

 

[jefmcg]

There was a particularly shitty American restaurant chain that had some branches in Australia - I think they are all closed now. Sizzler. You sat down, and ordered a main (as I recall it was a short list - steak, fish, chicken, vegie burger). Whatever you ordered, it came with a self serve salad bar. It was a horrible place to dine. I only went with groups, so it might have been better with small parties. I remember one time with a group of 10 or so, where the waitress instead of doing the hard slog of asking ten people which of 4 options they wanted, she got us to put up our hands. But the worst was when I went with a big group from work for someone's farewell. No bookings, so we all drove over there and queued up. To me this was so frustrating, because the suburb of Melbourne was full of Chinese and Vietnamese migrants, and we drove past some of the best Chinese restaurants in Melbourne to this dump. Anyway, we queued in the foyer for a long time. Then a waitress came down the queue and took our orders. 10 minutes later, she came back and took our money. I'm not paying for a meal before I got a table, so didn't. 20 minutes after everyone had paid, we still didn't have a table, so I gave my soon to be ex-colleague a hug, and went home. Everyone else stayed, because things hadn't quite got bad enough to start demanding refunds. A few people explicitly envied me.

I certainly never went there again. I don't know about my colleagues. I do remember that Sizzler got into financial straights in oz, but sadly it is still trading (thanks google).

 

[jefmcg]

Did the first B&B have one of those clear PVC "carpet protectors" in the hall? They really are a giveaway.

I never stayed anywhere like that, but I can feel it. Bill Bryson in Notes from a Small Island well describes the BnB host who asked him to tell her he didn't eat tinned tomatoes, so she could stop adding them to his full english.

A few years ago we stayed in a perfectly nice B&B in the Scottish highlands. They had a little bar, which was unusual for a b&b, but a quick glance behind the bar showed the only "local" whisky they had was Glenfiddich, which is probably in almost every mid-sized supermarket in the world.

Fine, but the owners kept on about "this breakfast got us the 5 diamond rating". The previous night we had stayed a Best Western in the borders. They had a half dozen single malts behind the bar. I asked a staff member for the prices, and she pointed us towards a price list. I couldn't see the whiskies listed, and she pointed to a single item "Whiskey: £2.40". ie less than the price of a shot of Bells in London, at the time.

That was a good evening

 

[classic33]

A works team christmas meal in an "exclusive" restaurant in Leeds. They'd taken a 50% deposit, with the rest to be paid on the night.

The service was slow, even though most had been pre-ordered, at their request. Some were still waiting for the main meal as others finished entirely.

Settling up at the end, the lass that had organised the meal, was left in tears by the staff who demanded that the bill be settled in full. No record of the deposit taken was to hand. We'd to get a copy sent from work that had been printed off and left for us to read and order from.

The five of them stood in a line near the exit, expecting to be tipped. My only tip to them was don't treat your customers like that.