CycleChat The Novel.

[Drago]

Of course, The Darkness were fed up of being used to hide stuff for CycleChat super villains. In desperation and disgust, lead singer Justin started walking to the police station.

Just as Justin was crossing thrntoad, along came a StreetKa with the roof down and a palm tree strapped in the passenger seat...

 

[roadrash]

it was unusual to see someone driving along with the roof down tapping the kerb with a white stick, suddenly the car was stopped by a cycle vigilante called son of the b!tch

 

[classic33]

, the white stick had gone between his spokes, causing his journey to come to a sudden stop. All of which had been caught on cameras

 

[Drago]

SoaB held up a red card and shouted, "You're illegal!!!". However, the shouting caused Accy the Butler to turn and look for the source of the sound, causing him to lose control, mou t the kerb, run over the Pope and crash though the window of a sex shop.

 

[classic33]

Whose owners were not too happy at what happened. Their first thoughts being that

 

[Oxo]

though Matilda was now deflated at least they knew how she got on top of the palm tree.

 

[Drago]

The police arrived to investigate Accy the Butler penetrating the sex shop window. Inspector Biggs arrived in his latest acquisition, a 1974 Rover. He took a swig from his hip flask and stepped towards the carnage.

 

[raleighnut]

The police arrived to investigate Accy the Butler penetrating the sex shop window. Inspector Biggs arrived in his latest acquisition, a 1974 Rover. He took a swig from his hip flask and stepped towards the carnage.

Then choking and with tears streaming down his face he was heard to croak "Who put Absinthe in there"

 

[Oxo]

Accy approached the Inspector, "It was all the fault of that, Son on a Bitch, cyclist, he tried to cross my palm with a silver chain ring."
The Inspector, the big cog in the police investigation, was unmoved and told Accy to stop cleating and take his helmet off or he'd ring his bell.
Meanwhile

 

[Paulus]

Rebus headed towards the nearest drinking establishment and entered boldly, he approached the bar and ordered a pint of Absinthe on the rocks. Dirk, the barman looked at him oddly. You're not from around here, are you, he enquired.

 

[classic33]

"What makes you say that" answered Rebus, with a voice that would

 

[Pat "5mph"]

There is no end to this tale, be warned oh Don Chisciotte rider of the plains, as the long, steep, winding road to the Withelee Windfarm has many times been ridden by the intrepid West Coast Velo.
Indeed, the tale goes on: after leaving the posse, Italian Pat meets in secret with the riders of YACF!
You all know the perils - she said - we must now set aside our differences, all of us united against the White Van Man!
You know Drago is our only hope, but, oh, he's so unfit, he does not believe in himself anymore.
We need him, we need him to arise from his slumber now!

 

[Drago]

Drago heard the cries of his forum chums in mortal peril. He scratched his arriss, lofted a buttock, farted, and pulled on his best string vest. He lovingly kissed his signed photo of Carol Vorderman, and reaching for his Super Soaker rifle as he headed for the door.

 

[classic33]

Doubts began to enter his head. Was this really the best weapon for the job he knew awaited him through that door.

His hand slowly reached towards the

 

[Bazzer]

Probably not, but hey, this was the full 40 psi version and the scum he was going to encounter wouldn't know the difference, until it hit them. Especially if he aimed for the goolies.

Meanwhile Rebus had silenced the pub with a voice that would have seen him sail through auditions as a town crier. All those in the bar suddenly turned to look at him, at which point he realised that whilst in the luggage he must have caught the switches on his hearing aids. A situation rapidly rectified, as he sought to address the barman's question with the simple response of "So what?"