CycleChat The Novel.

[raleighnut]

Although there was a stain on the ceiling where his attempts at pastry making had gone awry........

 

[Bazzer]

In the kitchen the cooker was laden down under the weight of a huge pan bubbling with a dark liquid. Occasionally, lumps of what looked like meat, would rise to the surface, only to disappear below the surface. Various depths of pastry moulds littered the table in anticipation of the brew.

"Damn!" muttered Vernon to himself. "This experiment for the kids at school on Monday isn't going well at all. Just as well I have a couple of pies in the oven to keep me going."

Resigning himself to having to restart the process, Vernon opened the oven door, forcing a wave of hot air into the already steamy kitchen. One of the hot pies was picked up with impunity and placed on the table. Vernon settled down on a chair, knife in hand, deep in thought about what had gone wrong with his experiment, before finally slicing into the hot pie.

 

[Oxo]

Typical thought Vernon, the upper crust is beyond hope. Lord Drago must be behind this travesty.

 

[Bazzer]

However, even if part of the pie is lost, thought Vernon, there is no point in wasting the remainder. Even the upper crust was going to taste better than those wretched pies in a tin. The pan continued to bubble on the stove, while the hot pie fueled Vernon's ruminations on his next bike adventure.

 

[Dirk]

Where he was intending to do a cycle tour of Uruguay to pay homage to St Fray of Bentos because, unbeknown to many, he harboured a secret fetish......

 

[postman]

Lord Drago was sat in his study, there was a knock at the door. His butler entered....

"My Lordship, you have a visitor "

"Send him in Accy" bellowed the hunchbacked noble

In years to come,people will be remembering that line.It ranks with Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, and You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! .

Brilliant.
Anyway get on back to the book.

 

[postman]

He saw the light shortly after receiving a letter from the postman requiring him to cycle on a Friday night to the far flung outpost of Whitstable and an early breakfast on the beach

Best seller best seller i am in it.Back to the book.

 

[Vantage]

a fetish so disturbing that even the RaleighNut had to hide his bottle of WetRide incase it's lube properties were misused.......the Postmans big red shiny sack.

 

[biggs682]

As Vernon started to put his freshly cooked meat in to the pastry shell's that Pat5mph had made earlier in the day , he suddenly remembered that it was due to be dry for the next couple of days so he could go and see the gunsmith in the next village .

 

[postman]

In these times of ours, though concerning the exact year there is no
need to be precise, a bike of dirty and disreputable appearance,
with two figures on it, glided near the Thames, between Southwark
bridge which is of iron, and London Bridge which is of stone, as an
autumn evening was closing in.

The figures on this bicycle were those of a strong man with ragged
grizzled hair and a sun-browned face, and a dark girl of nineteen or
twenty
The Vicar and Miss Goodbody,were out trying to find a quiet place to study.But unbeknownst to them not fnaar behind was a man of dangerous properties,a man whose life was blighted by rejection,his love was the young lady infront,whose firm thighs now drove the Vicar to certain doom and shame.Our Mutual Friend.Had to find a way to save him,and his reputation.

 

[User32269]

Across town, a handsome northern writer sat in his study flicking between a cycling forum and an article highlighting the phenomenon of product placement in literature. Saddened that rampant consumerism had began to crawl into works of art, he glanced at his Tag Heuer watch. Nine twenty. Sensing that the time had come to head to Bargain Booze to replenish his stock of Cristal Champagne, he pulled on his Rapha cycling jacket, then purposefully wheeled his 2018 Bianchi Oltre XR4 Chorurs, in the famous celeste colours, out of the front door.

 

[postman]

He was stunned to find attached to his fence,balloons,teddy bears,flowers of all colours and greetings cards Staring at all this chaos stood a little man,i'm Taggart of Glasgow,there's been a murder.Iv'e got here before Rebus cos he's a tight wad and is coming down on the National Express coach.

 

[classic33]

in a suitcase (luggage travels free), thereby avoiding the need to purchase a ticket. What would they think when the suitcase unloaded itself before making it's own way into the terminal was his only thought.

Handset had been charged, fresh batteries for the motor. So far it was all going as planned.

 

[Bazzer]

Unfortunately,even the best laid plans can come unstuck. The coach punctured and Rebus was left contemplating further; How long was this repair going to take and was it quicker to walk off the coach and find alternative transport? If he did walk, how would other passengers react to luggage walking off a coach? After all this wasn't some fantasy like the Discworld. Why couldn't coaches be fitted with tyres from the Schwalbe or Gatorskin ranges?
He decided to.....

 

[classic33]

to sit tight. This couldn't last forever, or so he hoped. The darkness could hide many things he realised. What hidden delights lay within the compartment he was in?