CycleChat The Novel.

[Pat "5mph"]

.....turbo trainer. Some more prep was required for this one, he thinks, scratching his bold patch. A lighter bike too, I need ... time for N+1!!!

 

[Dave 123]

An N+1 was a great idea, but he'd only gone and bought a pedalo.....

 

[classic33]

due to being told roads were flooded, making cycling impossible. His mistake was quickly solved when the local boating lake owner made an offer

 

[User32269]

of a night of wild abandoned passion in the boat house.

 

[roadrash]

with carol vorderman, would lord dragos fantasy finally come true,

 

[Drago]

Or would she renew the restraining order?

Back at the accident scene, Inspector Biggs was questioning Accy the Butler.

"What is the capital of Nicaragua?", asked the Inspector.

"Why, its Managau", replied Accy the Butler.

" Smart arse!" Yelled Inspector Biggs, and gave Accy the Butler a stiff back hand on his face.

 

[colly]

Meanwhile back in the land of the sane.................................

 

[User32269]

CHAPTER FOUR​

Mr Classic was still in shock. In all his years as Yorkshires foremost Carol Vorderman impersonator, that recent gig had been the most disturbing of his life.

 

[Drago]

Meanwhile, in the land of the sane, Postman sat rocking in his straitjacket. He'd been sectioned for saying out loud "I love Donald Trump." He vowed it would be the last time he took a dare from Drago.

 

[classic33]

over the Pennines in Yorkshire

 

[Drago]

...at the I Love Lancashire tourism office.

 

[classic33]

white roses had been planted in pots

 

[User32269]

This was clearly a false flag, designed to ignite the underlying tensions and resentments. Obviously, nobody in Yorkshire would spend their brass on blooms.

 

[Oxo]

Lord Drago emptied his pockets, every brass farthing..
Four, if only he could lay his hands on one more. Accy came to his rescue, the fifth farthing. Drago set to work in his shed, four farthings were adroitly fashioned into a penny and with the last one in place Lord Drago donned his helmet and pedalled off into the sunset.

 

[Bazzer]

The dare seemed straight forward, but Mr Postman, revealing his innocence, had missed the spending clues.
He had been told he was being paid a large sum of money to entertain Carol Vorderman and she wouldn't be imposing her considerable maths skills on him. He was to be put up in Yorkshire's only 4 star hotel, on a full board basis for a weekend and that he would have an expense account. The only proviso being the delicious Carol, had to be completely satisfied by the time she left Mr Postman on Sunday afternoon.
His weekend experience began shortly after checking into the hotel.....