CycleChat The Novel.

[Oxo]

Rebus, unsure of his social standing in the presence of blue blood, nevertheless suggested that they all adjourn to the Oxford Bar for refreshment promising Accy a slice of pie with oxo gravy. Along the way they encountered a fair maiden who was in the process of stripping a kitten of a number of it's nine lives.
Learning that the maids name was Carol, Lord Drago insisted that she join them for a spot of supper, counting down the time when he could get her on her own.
Settled with their drinks, the unlikely alliance started to formulate a plan.

 

[roadrash]

of how to get their hands on every fray bentos pie in the country, accy would be no use, they couldn't fit them all inn a ford ka, nor lord drago with his cabbage smelling ford fusion of elderness,...it was no good they knew it was down to mickle to source a fleet of cargo bikes....

 

[Reynard]

And send someone to scout out all the best deals on those oft-elusive pies. For that, they needed an expert.

 

[roadrash]

perhaps if mickle could find a fleet of electric cargo bikes , then maybe they could power them with all the powerbanks from the found a bargain thread.....oh hang on

 

[User32269]

CHAPTER SIX ​

Flint McSteel awoke in the hospital bed. The harsh sodium glare from the lights above taunting him in his helplessness. He could withstand the pain from his broken body, it was the memories flooding back that caused the real distress. They came in brutal staccato bursts. His old aquantance, Lord Drago. An elusive Scots beauty swigging seductively from a Buckfast bottle. Was there a shambolic private eye? Maybe a demented butler? Dapper Dirk, despite being retired, swilled around McSteels mind, yet dressed as the kind of dame you don't take home to mother. Why did the name Rebus take on such significance? For the first time since his childhood pet aardvark, Humphry, had been attacked and killed by a rouge gang of hermit crabs; a tear trickled down McSteel's tanned cheek.

The waking hours, as torturous as they were, paled into insignificance once sleep took hold. The nightmares plunged McSteel into a vortex of terror. Were they dreams? What had happened to him? If only he could somehow find a way to tie all the strings of madness together and begin to make sense of the chaos.

 

[Drago]

The Doctor looked down at his notes. McSteel's vasectomy had been badly bodged, and Dr User had been called in to tidy up the mess.

And a mess it was. The good Doctor sighed, and shuffled tiredly to his feet. It was time to give McSteel the bad news.

 

[User32269]

The months passed quickly, McSteel had made remarkable progress. The years spent grinding the Raleigh Pioneer had proved an unimaginable benefit to the healing process.
McSteel felt light as a feather, at last she could be the person she had always knew she should be. The substantial cheque for medical negligence had cleared and was sitting in her account. An endless array of fresh possibilities stretched out in front of McSteel, nothing could possibly muddy the waters now?

 

[Reynard]

Light as a feather... That's because someone had filled her breast implants with helium... But who?

 

[Drago]

Accy the Butler threw an empty helium container into a skip and chuckled quietly, before removing the balaclavva , and the stockings from his legs.

 

[User32269]

The two police officers sitting in the patrol car jerked in shock as the helium container flew through their open window and struck the dashboard.
"Oi you scrote" growled the larger of the two at the hapless perpetrator.
Accy the butler looked startled.
"A talking skip?" he exclaimed.

 

[classic33]

As the smaller one made their way out of the car and attempted the wall, distant cries could be heard. Who or what was making them? Then came the lonely howl of the Banshee, heard by few within close proximity to each other. They were wondering, "Was that for me?"

None would say they heard it, but they looked at each other wondering, would their time be up. Was the Banshee howl for them alone or what. Through the mist, there came a lone figure, whose outline could not be made out, just the vague movement could be seen as the figure drew closer.

 

[Reynard]

... wheeling a shopping trolley full of yellow-stickered FB pies...

 

[classic33]

bought earlier that day, down at the big new store on the edge of town. Soon they'd be home safe and sound. The lone figure was heard to cackle "mine, they're all mine" as it passed by the crowd before disappearing once more into the mist which seemed to be getting thicker.

 

[irw]

“Who are you?!” shouted Accy the butler after the lone figure.
The figure turned, and explosively replied...

 

[cosmicbike]

'BANANAMAN! Who else do you think would be so obsessed with all things yellow?