Cycling limericks

[Archie_tect]

Skindiver John,
rode his bike with aplomb, [though rarely broke out in a sweat],
He'd draft a big tractor-
cos speed was a factor...
though everyone thought it a con.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

There is a rider called @mudsticks
Who has words for environmental skeptics
It's not in dispute
That your vehicle does pollute
and causes harm amongst the organics

 

[mudsticks]

There is a rider called @mudsticks
Who has words for environmental skeptics
It's not in dispute
That your vehicle does pollute
and causes harm amongst the organics

Gosh


Immortalised in poetry..

 

[classic33]

L

Lets just say I don't find it funny, or humorous. Approximately half a million taken so far, with no end in sight.

The side effects are lousy to live with.

 

[Drago]

There was a young ruder, Mud Sticks,
Who's bike had a few clever tricks,
The ejector seat,
Was particularly neat,
But prone to make him travel sick.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

There was a cycle track built by Sustrans, a charity
built on on the principles of impracticality
It went up a cliff
was graded v diff
and needed ropes to tackle its lethality

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Sustrans did build another cycleway
That went through Leeds airport across a runway
When planes came to land
They struck up a brass band
to warn cyclists of a blast impending flattery

 

[LeetleGreyCells]

An older cyclist with a moustache
Oh so proper and with panache
Used his little grey cells
And his jingling brass bell
To pass all other riders in a flash

 

[Archie_tect]

A cyclist on his way to Darjeeling
Got on a bus bound for Ealing.
It said on the door,
'Do not spit on the floor!'
So he laid down and spat on the ceiling.

[An old one but still my favourite!]

 

[Archie_tect]

Poirot, when riding a bike,
found something 'e did not like,
It wasn't ze seat,
or ze frame so petite,
but his trousers!! ...they greased up a treat...

Mon ami!

 

[Crackle]

As I pulled off from the junction
my foot lost it's gumption
the crossbar rose up
my eyes opened wide
and I squeaked out a short imprecation

 

[Ming the Merciless]

As Oliver rode up the Gospel Pass
he released an enormous amount of gas
It propelled him uphill
whilst killing those downhill
from the noxious fumes alas.

 

[roadrash]

@mickle likes to ride down the lanes
he doesn't even mind when it rains
he will shout , he will nag
use some lube and a rag
that's his method for cleaning his chains

 

[roadrash]

an old man called @rich p
one morning decided that he
would buy a new cooker hood
just because he could
he's loosing his marbles you see
.

 

[roadrash]

@Crackle decided one morn
it was time he had a new lawn
he said all I need
is a big box of seed
now his garden is all forlorn