Cycling limericks

[DRM]

There was a young Welshman called G
Who rode for the Ineos team
He happened perchance
To crash while in France
And snapped his bike frame in three

 

[Reynard]

Reynard's a Cambridgeshire lass
Who while riding will give it some gas
Her Wiggins machines
Are both powered by beans
With a soundtrack that's purely first class

 

[Ming the Merciless]

There was a cycling loon
Who decided to go to the moon
They hit a big crater
Said see you later
I don't think we'll be seeing them anytime soon.

 

[DRM]

There was a team called Greenedge
Who thought they were at the cutting edge
They caused such a fuss
When they got their team bus
Stuck on the finishing line

 

[Electric_Andy]

There was a young cyclist called Willie,
He rode in the snow and was chilly,
he increased his pace,
to warm up his face,
and now he's the talk of Caerphilly

 

[perplexed]

There was a trick-cyclist called Fraser
Who was hit by an officer's tazer
As his muscles contracted
His face then impacted
Spoiling his attempt to amaze-her.

 

[perplexed]

There once was a cyclist called Giles
Who suffered terribly from piles
When they hung very low
They made him go slow
So he danced on the peddals for miles

 

[Archie_tect]

An old cyclist...who's first name was Pete,
Took off through a big field of wheat,
He eventually slowed,
I'm reliably told,
then he finally admitted defeat.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

There was a young fellow on the Dynamo
Who overtook everyone through machismo
But he hit a pot hole
it swallowed him whole
and now he only speaks in castrato

 

[Ming the Merciless]

There was a new bike to be bought
a red one, go faster he thought
but he went slower than ever
he blamed the weather
but failed when he took this to court.

 

[DRM]

There was a rider called Mercx
Who made all the others look berks
He raced to Marseille
And was so fast that day
The mayor was half way through lunch

1971 TdF Stage 12 Orcieres to Marseille, Mercx went that fast that he finished before the mayor finished his lunch, the mayor was so upset he banned the Tour from coming back, it did return 18 years later I think though.

 

[Drago]

There was a young web bloke named Shaun,
Who'd cycle to the shop to buy porn,
He would pedal his bike,
As hard as he'd like,
Or until his old Y fronts got torn.

 

[EltonFrog]

There’s a fella called Gravity Aided
Who lives in a town that is jaded
It’s Normal by name, but it just ain’t same,
Since Normal has been nominally upgraded.

 

[perplexed]

I've been trying to think up a limerick about the tory party leadership race, but I can't think of anything that rhymes with Jeremy.

For leadership contender Jeremy
Integrity was a distant memory
He cried to his Doris
'My rival is Boris
But he looks more like a pessary'

 

[Archie_tect]

There is a young cyclist called Drago,
who rides round as fast as my Fuego.
Because of the speed,
of his velocipede-
he often thinks, "Where did the day go?"