Cycling tips, in rhyme. I'll start:-

[Cyclist33]

When fitting new bar tape, avoid white:
Each time you ride it gets covered in shite.

 

[Cyclist33]

Don't bother upgrading to a carbon bottom bracket:
It costs a packet,
And it's easy to crack it.

 

[Accy cyclist]

Wear high viz not black. Don't listen to all that anti high viz cack!

 

[Globalti]

Never pass inside a tanker,

if you do you are a w.....idiot.

 

[RedRider]

its called the mickle method
its a way to clean your chain
spend a couple of minutes after your ride
years of service you will gain

So wipe, wipe, wipe
And add a little lube
Then wipe, wipe, wipe
You're in the Mickle groove.

 

[Chromatic]

If you want a groupset that works
Shimano is sure to please
If you want one that looks the biz
Then get some Italian cheese

When choosing a bike
Pick one you like
But afore you part with your dough
Make sure it's groupset is campagnolo

 

[swee'pea99]

One sad thing about cycling as you will discover is that when you're climbing a hill the pain just goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on
Then the top and wheeeeee!...And that's it. That was your fun.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

New style bike chain pins are shit.
That's it.

 

[SteCenturion]

Don't buy a Specialized..

Don't buy a Trek..

Buy a nice Sintesi...

coz there fast as Feck.

 

[Crackle]

If at first you don't succeed
and you've scuffed your fingers 'till they bleed.
Say feck it and give it to the bike shop.

 

[SteCenturion]

Don't buy an Appollo 26 inch wheeler..


or you'll get labeled as a Heroine Dealer.

 

[SteCenturion]

TBH I've just Googled 'Bicycle limerick' to get some ideas but instead found THIS

A bloody bicycle shop in Limerick, what's the odds eh?

& what a truly inspired name..

for a bike shop...

Wiggle must be quaking.

 

[SteCenturion]

When you buy that Ultegra crank
Be sure to stroke it first for a w***.

A week ?

Preposterous idea

 

[Fnaar]

On Wednesdays I go shopping
And have mojito in a jam-jar for tea.

I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars
Saying "OK Yar"

 

[SteCenturion]

@biggs682 said "try an old bike"...




so I gave Jordan/Katie Price a ring.