Cycling tips, in rhyme. I'll start:-

[ayceejay]

All morning spent rhyming with break
I give up - memories a wreck
Poems are a pain in the neck
WTF - dictionary says it's brake

 

[glasgowcyclist]

He rides a bike, it's shiny red, from lane to lane he flits
with no regard for other peeps, he's getting on my nerves.


GC

 

[IDMark2]

If you refrain
In the main,
From winter riding
In the rain

Get out there
No matter what
It'll soon warm up
and you'll get hot

And if you moan
about getting wet
Just harden up
(Southern I bet)

 

[Fnaar]

Oh! Autumn, with your fiery leaves of splendid hue and
beauty
Must you
leave
These leaves
Under my wheels, causing
Me to fall
And scrape this skin off
My farking
Arse.
And elbows

 

[PradaMTB]

I'm all gear and no idea,
that's the reason why i'm here,
learn from the veterans and
become a better'en

Lame attempt but i'm no poet

 

[IDMark2]

A useless tip for cycling,
Wear a lit up plastic hat
And when you get squashed
Or otherwise moshed
They'll say 'Sorry mate, didn't see that'

 

[Archie_tect]

When out on your bike, remember your pump,
You chump.

 

[SteCenturion]

There's Triban fans on here a plenty..
Bought one each at £5 - 20

at first hurdle they do stumble
when all their wheels begin to crumble

see, I told you so, you see
there made in India for 50p

The Triban fans with their retort, say
We have something to report
my Triban 3, there's nothing finer
the sticker says its 'made in China'

Dame Judi Dench, her fist did clench
said "at least it isn't F€CK!N6 French" !!

 

[RedRider]

The Rime of the Ancient Cyclist

It is an ancient cyclist,
And he's in the CTC.
By his long grey beard and Carradice bag,
You recognis-eth he.

He grabs you with his skinny hand,
'Rule 170,' quoth he.
'Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!'
Eftsoon his hand drops he.

He fixes you with his glittering eye—
'Rule 170: watch out for pedestrians crossing a road into which you are turning.
If they have started to cross they have priority,
So give way'

 

[glasgowcyclist]

My bike has wheels, they spin real fast
but only on the turbo
For when it comes to climbing hills
it looks like I'm in slow-mo.

GC

 

[glasgowcyclist]

There once was a man from Nantucket
.. nah, better not...


GC

 

[Fnaar]

Eftsoon

Like this word.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

I passed a cyclist by the road, her tyre seemed deflated
I offered her a sturdy pump, by Jove she was elated
She stroked and stroked as best she could but failed to reach the pressure
I took control with manly grip. Result? One lady's pleasure!
Her rack was full, a handsome load, with panniers a-bulging
She caught my gaze and asked me, "In what thoughts are you indulging?"
I could not lie, there was no point, my thoughts they were improper
I asked her if she'd do a trade for my new Raleigh Shopper
She rode off.
GC

 

[PradaMTB]

thats farking brilliant hahaha

 

[tyred]

There was a young girl from Hull
Who sat on a Sturmey Archer hub
The indicator rod went....oh sorry, it's a family forum