raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
Ooooooh ducky.
Dating Sites or Apps
- Thread starter PeteXXX
- Start date
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Ooooooh ducky.
Electric_Andy
Heavy Metal Fan
- Location
- Plymouth
@PeteXXX to give you some background, here is how most of the Dating sites work:
You log on and create a profile, and are asked to put recent photos on there, but lots and lots of people put photos of them taken 5stone years ago.
I used 2 or 3 dating sites at the same time, and it was clear that at least 50% of others were doing this also, as the same profile pics were coming up on all 3 sites.
You start to message people you like the look of, probably about 3 or 4 at a time, because some are not polite enough to respond with a "no thanks".
It's a bit of a numbers game, as above, there's no point holding out for someone who might get back to you in 3 weeks time. So it's always worth chatting to a few at a time.
Personally, I'd chat to someone for 2 or 3 days maybe, and then ask if they'd like to meet up. Most were willing, but some were obviously very nervous and would not meet up still after 3 weeks of chatting. So those were not really worth persuing.
You then meet up, and in my case they usually said I was nice but they didn't feel a spark! So it's back to the drawing board.
When you finally do meet someone who likes you back, you might then exchange phone numbers so you don't have to chat through the dating site.
At this point, everyone is different but you might decide if you've been on a couple or three dates then it's "serious" enough to deactivate your dating accounts. But many people go on dates and still stay on the sites, as I did, because with one girl I thought "well I've paid for another 3 months so if I deactivate my account now, and it doesn't work out with this girl, then I'll lose my money". I wasn't actively looking at anyone, but was just responding to the odd message, telling them I'm seeing how it goes with someone else at the moment. But this girl found out (she must also have been on the site so double standards really) and accused me of being a cheat, so that was a bullet dodged in my opinion.
You log on and create a profile, and are asked to put recent photos on there, but lots and lots of people put photos of them taken 5
I used 2 or 3 dating sites at the same time, and it was clear that at least 50% of others were doing this also, as the same profile pics were coming up on all 3 sites.
You start to message people you like the look of, probably about 3 or 4 at a time, because some are not polite enough to respond with a "no thanks".
It's a bit of a numbers game, as above, there's no point holding out for someone who might get back to you in 3 weeks time. So it's always worth chatting to a few at a time.
Personally, I'd chat to someone for 2 or 3 days maybe, and then ask if they'd like to meet up. Most were willing, but some were obviously very nervous and would not meet up still after 3 weeks of chatting. So those were not really worth persuing.
You then meet up, and in my case they usually said I was nice but they didn't feel a spark! So it's back to the drawing board.
When you finally do meet someone who likes you back, you might then exchange phone numbers so you don't have to chat through the dating site.
At this point, everyone is different but you might decide if you've been on a couple or three dates then it's "serious" enough to deactivate your dating accounts. But many people go on dates and still stay on the sites, as I did, because with one girl I thought "well I've paid for another 3 months so if I deactivate my account now, and it doesn't work out with this girl, then I'll lose my money". I wasn't actively looking at anyone, but was just responding to the odd message, telling them I'm seeing how it goes with someone else at the moment. But this girl found out (she must also have been on the site so double standards really) and accused me of being a cheat, so that was a bullet dodged in my opinion.
Toshiba Boy
N+1er
- Location
- By the beach, West Zummerzet
Same here, been together 13 years, married 9 years.
Alex321
Veteran
- Location
- South Wales
I've been married to the same woman for over 40 years, and dating sites did not exist (the internet didn't even exist) when we met and got married, so I have never had any reason to use one.
If I were single nowadays and looking, I might use one.
If I were single nowadays and looking, I might use one.
biggs682
Touch it up and ride it
- Location
- Northamptonshire
We are coming towards our 19 th
Broughtonblue
Guru
- Location
- Norfolk
After my divorce used tinder and pof, never used them before, and will hopefully never use one again after meeting Mrs bb on pof, married 6 years in August 👍
Met a couple of lovely ladies, but also met some you definitely wouldn't take home to meet parents/children 😳
Met a couple of lovely ladies, but also met some you definitely wouldn't take home to meet parents/children 😳
Jameshow
Veteran
I've heard the are cougars in Bradford after dark on the weekend I'm going to have to call the RSPCA!
I've tried in the past. My conclusion is you need to be pretty thick-skinned and be prepared to put a lot of work in to it.
I got stood up, dates cancelled at the last possible minute and even had an offer from a married woman looking for a bit on the side!
I'd imagine it probably helps if you lived somewhere with a large population base so you had loads to choose from.
I certainly wouldn't criticise online dating or criticise anyone who uses it but I just found the whole thing head-wrecking.
I got stood up, dates cancelled at the last possible minute and even had an offer from a married woman looking for a bit on the side!
I'd imagine it probably helps if you lived somewhere with a large population base so you had loads to choose from.
I certainly wouldn't criticise online dating or criticise anyone who uses it but I just found the whole thing head-wrecking.
Accy cyclist
Legendary Member
- Location
- The hills of Accrington
'but I just found the whole thing head-wrecking
Something I certainly don't need! Thanks for the post, you might've saved me.
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Noodle Legs
Winging it
- Location
- Coalville, Leicestershire
As a newly single man the idea of dating apps and even blind dating is not appealing to me in the slightest. I’m not saying they don’t work or anything like that- It’s clear that some posters have indeed met and married others through them- but personally I can’t help but feel the ‘dating scene’ is a bit forced. As someone who’s really not into small talk I probably wouldn’t fare well anyway!
Whether I meet someone tomorrow or never meet anyone again while I continue to draw breath then I am comfortable with either outcome.
If- and that’s a massive if- I do happen to meet someone then it will happen naturally. I guess I’ll know when I know 🤷♂️🤣
Whether I meet someone tomorrow or never meet anyone again while I continue to draw breath then I am comfortable with either outcome.
If- and that’s a massive if- I do happen to meet someone then it will happen naturally. I guess I’ll know when I know 🤷♂️🤣
'but I just found the whole thing head-wrecking
Something I certainly don't need! Thanks for the post, you might've saved me.
In reality, I find non-online dating pretty head-wrecking too.
Jameshow
Veteran
In reality, I find non-online dating pretty head-wrecking too.
I wouldn't mind either tbh!
Accy cyclist
Legendary Member
- Location
- The hills of Accrington
In reality, I find non-online dating pretty head-wrecking too.
I know what you mean. My life is so routine now that a date if it ever happened would have to be an afternoon one, maybe going to a shop(s) that sells things we have a common interest in, then maybe a not too fussy light meal without alcohol. The thought of going on a night time date involving drinking and then whatever afterwards would be quite daunting.
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I've tried them in the past to not much success.Im sure there are some really nice genuine people who use them,but beware there are a lot how aren't. Saying that though I suppose you could say that about anyone your dating.
Mind you,one look at my ugly mug and I think anybody would swipe left and delete.I met a couple ( I mean two girls on separate dates and not swinger's, and although there was no spark between us, we remained good friends.
Mind you,one look at my ugly mug and I think anybody would swipe left and delete.I met a couple ( I mean two girls on separate dates and not swinger's, and although there was no spark between us, we remained good friends.
Electric_Andy
Heavy Metal Fan
- Location
- Plymouth
Yeah this is a good point; the upside to online dating is that you can get right to the point and know who's potentially interested and who isn't. A sort of "concentrated" approach. UNfortunately the down side to that is, like I experienced, you might go on 10 dates within 10 weeks and they all say "I didn't feel any spark", or "you weren't for me". That does get you down a bit but you just have to keep playing the game.
Ironically I met my current partner just as I was giving up online dating. I fired off one last message becasue I was bored one evening, and was going to quit it altogether, but then we got chatting and have been together 4.5 years
