Disturbing Strava Segment Names

[Bollo]

I don’t really do the Strava, but years ago I registered and hooked it up to my Garmin account so occasionally get notifications about stuff. Today I received this…

…which I think is my first Local Legend. Apparently I’m the ruler of “PigFarmLumps”, which sounds like a form of porcine mastitis. Is there a less attractively named segment out there? We need answers.

 

[Twilkes]

Grey Pubes TUFF Guy Jumping Lights paints quite a picture of the events leading up to its creation.

THE DALMUIR DIRK DIGGLER is a bit disconcerting, and Gossiping Cow Lives Here is quite factual.

Coming down the Crow Road into Lennoxtown there was one called The School Run (Has Anyone Had A Text From Derek Mackay?) but I think it's been removed...

 

[Blue Hills]

I don’t really do the Strava, but years ago I registered and hooked it up to my Garmin account so occasionally get notifications about stuff. Today I received this…

View attachment 637231

…which I think is my first Local Legend. Apparently I’m the ruler of “PigFarmLumps”, which sounds like a form of porcine mastitis. Is there a less attractively named segment out there? We need answers.

maybe your strava thingy (excuse my ignorance of such driven things) has been hacked by a cabal of local estate agents.

 

[Ridgeway]

There’s loads of them, think there’s one named after Katy Price some where or at least part of her.

 

[Ridgeway]

Here’s a few

https://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/latest-news/top-12-funniest-strava-segment-names-219032

Including the Katie Price one

 

[Bollo]

Here’s a few

https://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/latest-news/top-12-funniest-strava-segment-names-219032

Including the Katie Price one

They’re funny but most don’t really have much to do with the characteristics of the segment, which feels like cheating. Balls to C0cks is pretty good in that context. Very occasionally I ride past Sandy Balls and it never fails to raise an immature chuckle.

 

[R_nger]

After one particular ride, I noticed the first letter of a sequence of consecutive segments spelt out a politicians name and an opinion of them (quite rude!). I did take a screenshot, but it got lost in the mists of time. Anyway, I think Strava art is far more creative

 

[I like Skol]

There's dozens around me that are called variations of Andy lov3s El4ine, 4ndy l0ves Ela1ne, etc.
I have never found out who Andy and Elaine are, or if Elaine is aware of Andy's obsession?

I have the KOM on one of them but still none the wiser. They are so liberally scattered that most rides I do starting from home includes one if them. It's been a few years since they appeared so they could be married with children by now?

 

[Blue Hills]

must say this has all come as news to me

(for which I'm rather thankful)

 

[HarryTheDog]

on my commute in to work is

and this makes me smile

 

[fossyant]

Scally Alley near me.

I'm thinking of renaming a segment on my commute to 'Dog Poo Bag Alley' given the number of dog owners who can't use the 'bin bags' specifically tied to fence posts at each end for them to deposit the poo.

 

[Mo1959]

One called Bonebreaker near here. Did it this morning actually. I don't know whether some poor person named it that following coming to grief on it, or if it is due to the poor road surface it had for a while.

 

[Mike_P]

Encountered one yesterday which gives visions of its originator being high on something;

A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast a bulbous. Got me?

A pointless segment anyway as it is 0.06 mile shorter than the more appropriately named Rufforth-York Ringroad.

 

[I like Skol]

Talking of poor road surfaces, @Hacienda71 pointed me at a segment near him called Roadbike Heaven or something similar.
I obviously headed out there asap to have a go on my best carbon bike....

I don't think I have ever ridden a worse stretch of tarmac (I use the term tarmac loosely)! It was bone jarringly, bike breakingly bad, but I beat Hacienda's time and got the crown 👑 so well worth the trip

 

[Bollo]

Talking of poor road surfaces, @Hacienda71 pointed me at a segment near him called Roadbike Heaven or something similar.
I obviously headed out there asap to have a go on my best carbon bike....

I don't think I have ever ridden a worse stretch of tarmac (I use the term tarmac loosely)! It was bone jarringly, bike breakingly bad, but I beat Hacienda's time and got the crown 👑 so well worth the trip

Top sh1thousery from @Hacienda71. Chapeaux sir, chapeaux.